Calling All Dorks: There Will Be Blood

If you’ve ever spent any amount of time with a toddler, then you know that they’re prone to having…I would call them “outbursts,” but “shitfits” has a much nicer ring to it, so let’s go with that. Toddlers have shitfits over just about everything. Food too cold? Shitfit. Shoes not the right color? Shitfit. You gave them exactly what they wanted the first time they asked? Shitfit.

Sometimes these little outbursts are understandable — not getting fed on time would make just about anyone cranky — and other times they leave us scratching our heads. Today’s Calling All Dorks story comes from Darlene, who writes at Baby Costs Money, and her toddler’s outburst definitely left her a bit bewildered.

Last night at bedtime, I was sitting on the bed with the ToddlerMonster and I mindlessly scratched my knee. I had cut myself shaving earlier that day, so when I scratched my knee, it started to bleed again. Not ideal.

The ToddlerMonster didn’t even realize I was (barely) bleeding, but she did brush her hand against my knee while climbing all over me trying to get comfortable with her books. She then brushed her hand against the white sheet and that’s when she noticed the BLOOD.

And she freaked out. She could not handle, I guess, that I was bleeding. She started screaming ‘NEED BANDAID NEED BANDAID!’ My teenage daughter ran into the room with a bandaid.

There wasn’t that much blood, by the way. But you could not tell that at all from the way the ToddlerMonster was screaming. You might have thought that I cut off my entire leg.

As soon as her sister came into the room with the bandaid, things got better for ToddlerMonster. She took the bandaid and very carefully pulled off the sticky bits.

And then she placed the bandaid very carefully on the sheet. The sheet, that had a bit of blood on it. The SHEET. WHAT.

Poor Mom! Leave it to a toddler to be more concerned about a sheet than her mom.

Be sure to check out Darlene’s blog here. You can also find her on social media by clicking the following links: Twitter and Instagram.

If you have a funny/dorky story that you’d like to see poorly illustrated, then send me an email at dorkymomdoodles@gmail.com. (Old posts are fair game.)

Want to connect on social media? You can find me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

22 thoughts on “Calling All Dorks: There Will Be Blood”

    1. LOL! I have a love-hate relationship with the toddler stage. She goes from being the cutest, funniest, most entertaining kid in the world to absolutely destroying my nerves with her tantrums. On and off all day. Whew.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I know all to well about shitfits. So many shitfits from one little human. Today mine threw a shitfit because he asked for a hotdog instead of having a porkchop for dinner, it is what we were having. So I made his hotdog. We are eating and are nearly finished when he says he wanted a porkchop. Then was mad when I told him they were all gone because he wanted his hotdog. Kids are so funny!

    Liked by 1 person

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