Fuzzy On The Details

Between my drafts folder and the multiple notes saved to my phone, I have so many things I could write about on this blog. I often jot or type things down when inspiration strikes and then go right back to what I was doing, having every intention of fleshing out that idea later. I have 30 drafts saved on my blog with titles of a few words or so. I have at least another 30 topics saved on my phone. Yet I struggle to come up with a blog post that will dazzle you.

If you’re a fan of The Office, then you’re probably familiar with this Michael Scott quote:

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

That’s totally me when it comes to blogging. When I come back to many of those blogging topics later, I have often no idea where I was going with them at the time I wrote them down. And I stare at those topics and even attempt to write a few sentences about those topics, hoping that things will click and I’ll find where I’m going with it along the way. I usually don’t.

As you’ve probably already guessed, today’s post is going to be about the topics that I seriously don’t have a clue where I was going with them.

Cussing 100 yards, forget cleaning

I wish I had a clue what “cussing 100 yards” refers to, because it sounds like it would be funny. I’m certain that it doesn’t have anything to do with me hearing someone cussing 100 yards away, so there’s that. And “forget cleaning?” Well, I do that quite often, but why is it lumped together with the whole cussing bit? Am I the victim of autocorrect?

Sharing

Dear past me — be a dear and kindly expound upon your blog post topics, okay? Surely something bland and boring like “sharing” has to be connected with a funny story, right?

More bubble bath

I’ve got nothing. I can’t think of any situation in which one of my kids requesting more bubble bath (and I’m assuming it’s them, because my husband doesn’t take bubble baths and I usually don’t, because my allergies/asthma is very picky about soaps and stuff) would be humorous.

Your face is a vulca

Okay, so “vulca” has to be “vulva.” It has to be. Now if only I knew why I wanted to blog about vulva faces. Did Baby Girl call Little Man a vulva face? Because that would definitely be a step up from what she usually calls him — a meanie or a brat. (Gah.) Clearly I thought it was so funny enough that I’d remember all of the details of it later, but nah.

Bath water

This was on a separate note from “more bubble bath,” so I doubt they’re connected. There are a few things I could write about with something this generic, but nothing that strikes me as particularly interesting. I could write about the kids splashing water over all of creation from the tub, but…meh. I could write about Baby Girl drinking bath water, but…meh. Maybe that’s where I was going with it at the time I wrote it down and couldn’t see that it only had “meh” potential.

Theist spray

This is absolutely my favorite topic that I am clueless over. This one is older, so I know it absolutely isn’t related to when church people showed up on my doorsteps a couple weeks ago, when I hadn’t washed my hair in two days and wasn’t wearing a bra, but dang, it sure would’ve come in handy right about then. Surely I wasn’t planning on a bug spray for religious people, so what the heck was this supposed to be about? Or what the heck did autocorrect screw up and turn into something that makes me look like a heathen?

These are just a few of the topics that I have no idea where I was going when I wrote them down. And even on a couple of them that I have somewhat of an idea as to what I could be referencing, I’m still not sure how the hell I thought I’d get an entire post out of it.

Just so y’all know, this is pretty much every list I make. I used to not make lists, but then I started making them because I was told it would make my life easier. Ha. I’ll go into Target every so often and buy some Greenroom spiral 6×8 notebooks, which I use to keep track of all of my lists. And then I’ll inevitably lose one of the notebooks and start lists in a different one, and then find and lose another, and so on. Currently I have two notes on my phone plus pages of notes in three different notebooks for birthday party plans for Baby Girl’s party. When I try to take it all in and make sense of everything, I inevitably get overwhelmed and start a new list. The madness never ends.

Are you dazzled now?

Advertisements

I Put My Boobs On The Internet…Again

Want to know a good way to appall your 1o-year-old? Besides calling Minecraft “that freaking block game,” that is? Put your boobs on the Internet. A few months ago, I published a post called What Your Bra Really Says About You on this blog, and while Little Man generally thinks everything I write is hilarious, he wasn’t very enthusiastic about me putting my boobs online, even if they were a) doodled and b) technically covered up.

Unfortunately for Little Man, those doodled, censored boobs are posted on another website. Sammiches and Psych Meds featured the What Your Bra Really Says About You today. If you didn’t read it when I originally posted it back in October, then head over to Sammiches and Psych Meds and check it out. Heck, even if you did read it when I originally posted it, head over there and check it out anyway, because it’s been seven months now, and I know your memory isn’t so great that you remember all the details of my censored breasts.

#AtoZChallenge: That’s A Wrap

This is my fourth year doing the challenge (although not all on the same blog) and my first time submitting all posts on time. In the words of Borat, “Great success!”

Twenty-six days, twenty-six stories (five of which were repeats), twenty-six sets of doodles. And 105 new doodles were created for those 21 brand-new posts. Considering that I was very slack the past few months, with my average of 2 to 3 posts per month, that’s a lot of new dork material. Now I just need to find a happy middle ground post schedule-wise!

This month saw me blasting to the past — anywhere from a week ago to 23 years ago. There were posts that probably made you fear for our lives a little, posts that warmed your hearts, and posts that probably made you almost lose your lunch. Variety FTW!

Here are the top five posts in terms of likes for the month:

‘U’ is for Uh-Oh – Baby Girl had some leakage on vacation.
‘Z’ is for Zzzz – My daughter makes my anxiety worse at night.
‘S’ is for Surgery – My husband took Valium for his vasectomy, and it was funny.
‘M’ is for Money – I made someone think I’m against a Down Syndrome society.
‘V’ is for Valentine’s Day – My grandmother let my husband almost scare me to death.

Runner up:
‘E’ is for Eating – I accidentally ordered a whole chicken.

The Surgery post was my favorite overall (it’s always fun to write about someone else’s embarrassing moments!), followed closely by ‘J’ is for JTT, because who doesn’t love tween cringe?

Now that it’s all over, I’m going to continue working on that book. I’ve got my categories figured out and have chosen a bunch of different stories to include. Next up: retool some of the stories, create new stories/doodles, and figure out who the heck would publish something like this/check out self-publish options.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to check out the doodled madness this month! What was your favorite post?