Mother’s Day Part One

I hope everyone had a nice, relaxing Mother’s Day yesterday (or a nice Sunday). My husband cooked me some of my favorite things (steak and bacon), plus ran a bubble bath for me and took the kids out of the house so I could enjoy it in peace, so I was a happy girl.

My family got me a few presents for Mother’s Day yesterday. One present has yet to be delivered, but my husband showed me a picture (so it counts) — an air fryer. This is cool because a) we can enjoy fried foods for less calories and b) I won’t risk burning the house down again trying to fry stuff. (There will definitely be a post for this one soon.) I was also given a gift made by Little Man that will get a post all of its own. And then there was an awesome gift that made me geek out — an R2-D2 measuring cup set.

The set looks exactly like an R2-D2 toy while assembled.

It comes apart into measuring cups and measuring spoons of varying sizes. Rather than attempt to draw a butchered looking R2-D2, you can view the real deal here.

I had barely taken R2-D2 out of the gift bag when the kids began clamoring over who would get to hold him first. Because obviously, the recipient of the Mother’s Day gift wouldn’t have dibs. And when they realized that he comes apart, well, all hell broke loose.

Apparently my kids’ arms do the Stretch Armstrong thing when they’re fighting over something.

Thanks, guys.

The next time my husband and I do any gift giving, we’ll have to make sure we give the non-boring gifts in private.

As a little bonus, I’m going to close this with a doodle from Little Man. He saw me drawing the R2-D2 and drew C-3P0 on his tablet to go with this.

How was your weekend?

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Happy Mother’s Day, Indeed

As much as I joke around about the kids’ clinginess and stuff, Little Man and Baby Girl really have a love for me that just blows my mind at times. I could do a post about Mother’s Day expectations vs. reality or one about the shenanigans my kids have been up to today, but I’ll save those for later and focus on the sweet stuff.

Little Man is a total mama’s boy. Always has been and, hopefully, always will be.

All. Nine. Realms. I want that on my tombstone.

And now for the toddler…

Yesterday I asked Baby Girl if she knew what tomorrow was, and she asked if it were a school day. I told her that it’s not (and won’t be for another three months — it’s going to break her heart when it sinks in that there is no more preschool for that long), but that it was going to be Mother’s Day.

“It gonna be Mudder’s Day?” she asked.

“Yep.”

She wrapped her arms around me and said, “You the best mudder I could have.” I didn’t think she had an inkling what Mother’s Day is, so to hear all that made my heart extra melty.

Yeah, poor Daddy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mamas and to anyone else who fills that role.

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Reasons The Toddler Is Pissed

If you look up “temperamental” in the dictionary, I’m pretty sure that you’d find a picture of a toddler next to it. Maybe even my toddler.

Oh, wait…

How about that? I wasn’t exaggerating after all!

True to the definition of temperamental, one minute Baby Girl is happy. The next she’s mad. Sometimes she’s mad over the reason that originally made her happy, which is confusing as hell and makes the whole “navigating parenting” thing much more difficult. Other times she’s ticked off for reasons that should never tick anyone off, ever. And, occasionally, there are times when she’s pissed for reasons that are beyond me.

Here are a few of the reasons she might be mad on any given day —

I have four younger brothers and sisters, so I get #1 — I completely understand what it’s like for a look from a sibling cause someone to see red. I don’t understand why, but I do know that it happens and isn’t just a Baby Girl thing. Even worse than looking at each other is looking at an object the other sibling is playing with/using with interest — this causes a reaction akin to road rage in children.

And for the record, with #3 — we’re talking about milk that has been sitting out for maybe ten minutes. The cup is still cool to the touch. I’m not a monster who makes kids drink warm milk. Cold milk is gross enough to me, but warm milk? “Disgusting!” to use Baby Girl’s new favorite word.

I mostly don’t get the others on that list. Especially #4. Who wants to go around wearing a shitty diaper? It makes her butt red and itchy, which she also complains about. Use. The. Potty. (And use it regularly enough that I can say stop saying “potty” in a sweet, high-pitched voice that is supposed to make you take interest in it.)

What are some funny things your kids get mad over?

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Like Moths To A Flame

As promised, I’m going to post about the stomach bug that made its way through our house. Aside from sleep or a Star Wars marathon, nothing good happens between the hours of midnight and six in the morning — not in my over 30 world, anyway. As such, I’m going to skip over certain details and mainly talk about my kids.

To get started, here’s an idea of how I looked last Tuesday after the late night festivities.

That’s not someone you’d want to be hanging out with, is it? No, that’s someone you’d want to send a text saying, “Hope you feel better, and stay the hell away.”

That’s how most people would act. Maybe a spouse would poke his head in and ask if I wanted a drink of water or something. Or maybe he wouldn’t and get on my shit list, cough.

As you’ve likely already gathered, my children aren’t most people.

The kids were told to stay out of my room, but nothing makes them want me more than a) being on the phone or b) being sick. It sounds like Baby Girl is trying to break the door down when my husband locks it, and Little Man will grab his library card and push it between the door frame and the lock to open the door. They both have their reasons for wanting to get to me, though — very different reasons.

Remember Baby Girl’s obsession with the doctor? She loves going, and when she knows someone isn’t feeling well, she becomes very opportunistic.

I had to break it to her that, no, I wasn’t going to the doctor. “This is a virus; we don’t go to the doctor for viruses.” Not the 24-hour type, anyway.

“We go to the doctor and get you a band-aid! And a shot! And she listen to your heart with the stethoscope!”

“No.”

“We get an ambulance and go to the hospital and see doctor there?” One last shot.

“No.”

And then she largely lost interest in me.

Now for Little Man.

Little Man is a very empathetic child — he can’t stand it when I’m not feeling well and is very protective and will fawn over me. He’ll take it upon himself to bring in a trash bag to throw up in, a cold drink, and a snack, and offer to turn on my favorite TV show. He makes my heart melt with his thoughtfulness, and he’s been this way as long as I can remember.

It’s hard to say “no” to that. I gave in to a quick cuddle, explaining that I didn’t want him to get sick, too. That brief cuddle was enough, though, since the next night, this happened —

He was fine at first, but a few hours later, I heard, “Mommy, I feel like…” and then the poor kiddo puked everywhere. He happened to be lying between my husband and me in the bed when it happened, so my husband woke up to less-than-pleasant circumstances.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare: Coke, Hobbies, and School

If we were having coffee today, I’d have an assortment to offer you. Walmart had 3-packs for a buck, so I got a bunch of different varieties for my husband to try. (I’ve given up on finding a coffee that I like enough to drink on the reg myself.) I also have over a dozen cupcakes leftover from the soccer banquet, plus cinnamon rolls from the bakery. They were all purchased on Monday, but the date’s still good, so have at it.

At the mention of all of the baked goods lasting the week, you might give me the side eye and wonder how they survived to the weekend. I could chalk it up to having a stomach bug and a cold, but I did something crazy last week — I stopped drinking Coke. (I’ve had one two in the past 10 12 days, down from the 3-4 cans plus a fountain Coke that I’d been having per day. Hides face in shame.) Headaches happened of course, but I noticed something on the days where I do have an appetite — my sweet cravings have decreased a lot. As such, we have treats to offer guests who would risk their health by visiting us.

We’d toast to my greatly reduced Coke drinking habit and then talk about life stuff.

So…life stuff.

Baby Girl has asked to use the potty once per day this week. Usually when we’re away from home, because she prefers using other people’s toilets. (THIS IS SO NOT MY CHILD. You don’t want to know the risk I’ll take just to get to my own toilet.) But she’s asking to go, so that’s something. Plus she’s asking when she’s in the tub, so she’s not peeing/pooping on me anymore. Yay! I’m going to take a week early on in the summer and put her in underwear and try to get her fully trained. She’s incredibly strong-willed, but I’m hoping that if I take off the pull-ups and stick her in underwear that she’ll go with it after getting wet a few times.

I’ve been working on a few orders over the weekend — two necklace orders and a couple of decal orders. Before April, I was making decals for shirts/mugs/projects, pendant necklaces, and more to sell to make a little money on the side. That was going pretty well, but I didn’t promote that at all in April, so I only had a couple orders that month, plus I made stuff for different family members for their birthday gifts. Hopefully I’ll get the ball rolling again in May (or at least learn how to screen print something).

I’d also tell you that I’m trying to work out something to do for our wedding anniversary. My husband took me to Charleston last year and had everything planned out, so I’m trying to come up with something for this year. So far I’ve thought about driving to Niagara Falls, but that’s an 11 hour drive from South Carolina, and I don’t think he’d like driving that much in 2 days. And then I thought about going to Scranton, Pennsylvania since we’re both The Office superfans, but that is also a heck of a drive. Hmm…

Then I’d comment on how I can’t believe school is almost out — Baby Girl’s last day is Thursday and Little Man’s last day is in about two and a half weeks. My toddler will be two years away from starting kindergarten and my son will be two years from starting middle school, which is just crazy to think about!

That’s all I’ve got for today. How was your week?

Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Nerd In The Brain.

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#AtoZChallenge: Z is for Zzz

There are lots of ways to get on a toddler’s shit list. Nag her about eating her vegetables, make her hold your hand while walking in the parking lot, and tell her that you are washing her face (no matter how much she kicks and screams) are some good ways to get on the list. Wanna know the best way — the way that will make her look at you like she’s ready to hire a goon to chop off your thumbs? Tell her that it’s time to go to sleep.

Baby Girl has a black belt in fighting sleep. She’ll talk like she’s hyped up on coffee and just ramble, flap her arms like she’s trying to take flight, and even slap herself, all in the sake of staying alert. Other times she’ll try to Jedi mind trick me and tell me, “Mommy, I get up…I get up…” over and over while nodding. Lil’ Obi-Wan Kenobi, she is.

Sometimes this stuff is a bit frustrating (or worrisome, in the case of the slapping), other times it’s all I can do to keep from snickering.

Anytime something isn’t working, then she thinks the batteries have died. Time for the sun to get some a few new AAAs.

Child, you’re talking, crying, and squirming…pretty sure you’re awake.

So I’ve gathered.

Just to be clear, Baby Girl isn’t the only one who dislikes going to sleep — Little Man usually isn’t a fan, either. There are books to read, toys to play with, and video games to play, so who needs sleep? Not him. We’ve caught him reading under the covers many times using either a flashlight or a light saber (and it’s hard for me to get too bothered by that), and we’ve caught him playing a game on his tablet once (he slipped up and sent us a message requesting troops for his game — rookie mistake).

When he was four, Little Man tried to get out of taking naps in a way that I thought was pretty clever.

Well played, kid.

Do your kids hate naptime/bedtime, too?

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#AtoZChallenge: V is for Vader

It’s no secret that the people in the Dorky household have quite a love for Star Wars. I remember the first time I watched Star Wars — when I was 20 — with the guy I was dating who would later go on to be my husband. I was in hysterics over the special effects (we watched an old VHS copy that hadn’t been remastered), and didn’t care too much for the whole space thing at first. (Despite my fascination with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, I’m not generally a fan of the sci-fi or fantasy genres.)

But, that changed, and I became enthralled by the story. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched various episodes since then, but it’s been a lot. Naturally, we passed this love on to the kids.

Little Man got his first light saber when he was three. We had banned guns, but thought the light saber would be fine. As it turns out, being cracked across one’s knuckles with a light saber does a bit more damage (hello, burst blood vessels) than a toy gun. (Except for the time I shot my husband in the eye with a Nerf gun, anyway.) We let him watch bits and pieces of the Star Wars movies around that time, and Little Man quickly became obsessed with Darth Vader, but later moved to Luke, and now has focused his interest on Princess Leia. Cough, almost tween, cough. Baby Girl also loves Star Wars. I have an adorable video of her when the opening crawl comes on and she starts shouting “Star Wars! It’s Star Wars!” and dancing. She’s also pretty good with a light saber.

For today’s doodles, I’m going to share a couple of things that the kids have said.

Right, the heat from the food was exactly like that.

Baby Girl’s love for Darth Vader isn’t as great as her love for Batman, but it’s still up there. You can sometimes hear her marching around the house humming Imperial March, and she goes all fangirl whenever Vader appears on the screen.

One day she’ll figure out that things don’t usually end well when that red light saber appears.

Are you a Star Wars fan? Which movie was your favorite?

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