Fuzzy On The Details

Between my drafts folder and the multiple notes saved to my phone, I have so many things I could write about on this blog. I often jot or type things down when inspiration strikes and then go right back to what I was doing, having every intention of fleshing out that idea later. I have 30 drafts saved on my blog with titles of a few words or so. I have at least another 30 topics saved on my phone. Yet I struggle to come up with a blog post that will dazzle you.

If you’re a fan of The Office, then you’re probably familiar with this Michael Scott quote:

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

That’s totally me when it comes to blogging. When I come back to many of those blogging topics later, I have often no idea where I was going with them at the time I wrote them down. And I stare at those topics and even attempt to write a few sentences about those topics, hoping that things will click and I’ll find where I’m going with it along the way. I usually don’t.

As you’ve probably already guessed, today’s post is going to be about the topics that I seriously don’t have a clue where I was going with them.

Cussing 100 yards, forget cleaning

I wish I had a clue what “cussing 100 yards” refers to, because it sounds like it would be funny. I’m certain that it doesn’t have anything to do with me hearing someone cussing 100 yards away, so there’s that. And “forget cleaning?” Well, I do that quite often, but why is it lumped together with the whole cussing bit? Am I the victim of autocorrect?

Sharing

Dear past me — be a dear and kindly expound upon your blog post topics, okay? Surely something bland and boring like “sharing” has to be connected with a funny story, right?

More bubble bath

I’ve got nothing. I can’t think of any situation in which one of my kids requesting more bubble bath (and I’m assuming it’s them, because my husband doesn’t take bubble baths and I usually don’t, because my allergies/asthma is very picky about soaps and stuff) would be humorous.

Your face is a vulca

Okay, so “vulca” has to be “vulva.” It has to be. Now if only I knew why I wanted to blog about vulva faces. Did Baby Girl call Little Man a vulva face? Because that would definitely be a step up from what she usually calls him — a meanie or a brat. (Gah.) Clearly I thought it was so funny enough that I’d remember all of the details of it later, but nah.

Bath water

This was on a separate note from “more bubble bath,” so I doubt they’re connected. There are a few things I could write about with something this generic, but nothing that strikes me as particularly interesting. I could write about the kids splashing water over all of creation from the tub, but…meh. I could write about Baby Girl drinking bath water, but…meh. Maybe that’s where I was going with it at the time I wrote it down and couldn’t see that it only had “meh” potential.

Theist spray

This is absolutely my favorite topic that I am clueless over. This one is older, so I know it absolutely isn’t related to when church people showed up on my doorsteps a couple weeks ago, when I hadn’t washed my hair in two days and wasn’t wearing a bra, but dang, it sure would’ve come in handy right about then. Surely I wasn’t planning on a bug spray for religious people, so what the heck was this supposed to be about? Or what the heck did autocorrect screw up and turn into something that makes me look like a heathen?

These are just a few of the topics that I have no idea where I was going when I wrote them down. And even on a couple of them that I have somewhat of an idea as to what I could be referencing, I’m still not sure how the hell I thought I’d get an entire post out of it.

Just so y’all know, this is pretty much every list I make. I used to not make lists, but then I started making them because I was told it would make my life easier. Ha. I’ll go into Target every so often and buy some Greenroom spiral 6×8 notebooks, which I use to keep track of all of my lists. And then I’ll inevitably lose one of the notebooks and start lists in a different one, and then find and lose another, and so on. Currently I have two notes on my phone plus pages of notes in three different notebooks for birthday party plans for Baby Girl’s party. When I try to take it all in and make sense of everything, I inevitably get overwhelmed and start a new list. The madness never ends.

Are you dazzled now?

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#AtoZChallenge: ‘N’ is for Notes

I love getting notes and pictures from my kids. I have a special drawer that I save them in. Those notes and pictures are few and far between from Little Man now, but Baby Girl makes up for it with the scribbles she gives me. Little Man did recently gave me the following note, though, which made my heart melt:

That’s enough of the sappy stuff. Now I’m going to move on to some of the drawings and notes I’ve found that gave me a good chuckle.

First, here’s the family portrait that Little Man drew when he was 6 or 7.

A stick thin waist and boobs almost as big as my head? Yes, please. (Or maybe not, since that would definitely cause some back problems.) It always really cracks me up to see kids around kindergarten to first grade age draw out their families. They almost always go with huge boobs for the adult women.

And speaking of boobs, there was that time in first grade (I think) that he  took issue with my not handing over my bathing suit when he asked.

I can only imagine what his teacher thought when she saw his free write that day. I love how he also included boobs in this photo, too, even if they are rather lopsided. Some free write notes from the same time that I didn’t include were about Little Man’s dog’s privates being cut off (ouch) and being very “thrustrated” as me for not letting him sit in the floor to write.

Heads up to parents of young children — if they want to give someone literal garbage for a Christmas or birthday (or anytime) gift, let them do it, because they absolutely will call that shit out.

See what a party pooper I am? If memory serves, the “something special” was leftover McDonald’s Monopoly game pieces from the previous summer.

Little Man fully understands the power of the written word. He will often air out his grievances in writing, and started doing so when he was five. He wasn’t always as verbose as he is now, but the point was still taken:

Last but not least is this one from when LM was in kindergarten, I found this scribbled on the back of one of his worksheets:

You got told, Joe.


Thanks to everyone who gave me some feedback on the poll asking about how much new content I should have if I put together a Dorky Mom Doodles book! Here are the results:

I’ll shoot for around 25 to 30 percent new material, more if the creative writing/doodling juices start flowing.

Thanks for joining me for the April A to Z Challenge! If you’re participating, please leave a link in the comments section so I can check out your post.

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