#ThingsKidsSay: Don’t Lose Your Top

My family and I went for an overnight stay at the Great Wolf Lodge located fairly close to where we live. If you’ve never been there, it’s an outdoorsy themed water park for kids. Most of the slides and pools and splash pads are indoors, but there are a few things outside, too, for when the weather is warmer.

I love being by the water, but I’m not as much of a fan of getting in. I can swim, but prefer hanging out by the pool or ocean most of the time for reasons. One of these reasons is that sometimes things happen when I’m in the water (whether it’s in the ocean or on a water slide), and these things cause me to have wardrobe malfunctions. It happens to everyone at some point, but I’m pretty sure I’ve had more than my fair share.

The last time I went to Great Wolf Lodge, I had a wardrobe malfunction while riding a slide with Little Man. After much begging, I got on the slide (I really dislike water slides now that I’m older), and then I proceeded to flip on the mat, take a hard hit to the head, and partially lose my bottoms and one of my boobs was well on her way to greeting the world when I got to the bottom. I righted myself, avoided eye contact with the people standing near, and stayed away from that area for the rest of our visit.

So, I have a rule now — no more water slides for me. I’ll gladly stand at the bottom and watch, but I ain’t getting on. Nope, not happening. And Little Man apparently forgot this rule yesterday when he begged me to ride a two-person water ride with him.

Channeling my inner Joey Tribbiani, I told him, “Mommy don’t ride water rides.” (I have no idea why I have to say it in Joey’s “Joey don’t share food” voice, but I do.)

Since the boy rarely takes no for an answer, he tried to change my mind. When I suggested that he find another kid to ride with, he tried to guilt me by suggesting that he could be kidnapped.

I realize after uploading this image that I gave myself a thigh gap, which I don’t have IRL, at all.

I told him I’d take that chance. He cackled and said he’d wait for his dad.

So, are y’all water slide riders? Or do you avoid them because of wardrobe malfunctions, too?

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Netflix Zombies

As new parents might expect, having a little one changes things quite a bit. Well, quite a lot, since there’s the matter of there being a new human in the home who is completely dependent on you. And that child is basically a puke-diarrhea-pee factory who is also the most precious thing on the face of the earth — so you might not mind too much when some of those bodily fluids land on you, or in your mouth (all three categories, both kids — pretty sure a FML was appropriate).

Pre-kids, my husband and I had so much fun together. Sometimes we’d go away for the weekend, but mostly we had our fun hanging out, having deep talks, playing softball, playing chess and card games or video games, having some drinks, and going to football games (and having even more drinks). Typical newlyweds-without-kids stuff.

Now things are different. I know we could still do all of those things. Maybe not the drinking on a regular basis (well, definitely not, because hitting 30 apparently means you get all the heartburn galore from a single drink), but the chess and card games and video games — sure, we could. But we usually don’t. When 10:00 comes, and the last kid is finally down for the night (or, in the case of the toddler, for a few hours), we’ve got about an hour and a half together before my husband lies down. That time is usually spent zoning out to TV because we’re just so damn tired. We do have our dates nights, but half of those are spent getting pizza and watching something on Netflix because, again, tired.

This will change as the kids get older and more independent, but for now, that’s life, and you’ve gotta find the funny in life.

And that brings us to today’s doodle —

Can y’all relate?

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Should’ve Bought The Bread And Milk

The last time the weatherman called for snow, we expected to wake up to a few inches. Instead, there was nothing. Later that morning, we got the smallest of dustings, but that was it. We were pretty disappointed, but not surprised, since in SC, winter isn’t winter so much as it is fall-spring-summer, with a handful of days cold enough to wear a fleece jacket and maybe a day or two where it’s so cold that school is called off. It’s all over the place.

The weatherman has been talking about snow this week, but my part of SC wasn’t expected to get more than a dusting if we were lucky. I didn’t think too much about it because of last time. So, I didn’t join the horde of people at Walmart going on a bread and milk run last night. Nor did I buy booze.

And then I woke up to this.

We’ve gotten about four inches so far, which is the equivalent to 18 inches elsewhere, so boom.

And, as the picture shows, it was mid-70s earlier in the week and now it’s Snowmageddon!

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Speaking Toddler-ese

On the home from school yesterday, Little Man and I had a conversation about his sister. Little Man was 6 when Baby Girl was born (they’re 9 and 2 now). We talked about her upcoming birthday (which is in June, but I’m already planning), when he commented that he missed the cute things she used to say when she first started talking.

“Do you remember how she used to say, ‘Hey, bo,’ to everyone?” Little Man asked.

I did. We were resigned to the idea, for a time, that it’d be in her destiny to rock pink camo.

“And how about all the crazy words she’d use?” LM asked. “Remember ‘Go-Go’?”

I chuckled. Ah, “Go-Go.” That one took a while to figure out, but eventually we realized she wanted to watch Frozen; specifically, the scene where Elsa sings Let It Go. She later upped the ante by calling every song in the movie “Go-Go,” and you’d have to figure out which song she wanted based on the inflection. I can’t remember it all, but it was something like “Go-Go” meant For The First Time In Forever and “Go-Go-Go” meant Olaf’s song.

I relayed my and Little Man’s discussion to my husband last night, which prompted us to talk about LM’s toddler vocabulary versus Baby Girl’s. LM started talking early — and talked very clearly, I might add —  so rarely were we confused when he’d ask for something. Have a look at some of Little Man’s words:

For the record, we didn’t feed Little Man only cereal when he was young. But, it’s been around 7 to 8 years since he was a toddler, and I’m struggling to think of anything else he called food that was either confusing or funny.

And now for Baby Girl. As you’ve probably gathered from the Go-Go info, the words she used for when she couldn’t say the right word weren’t always as easy to figure out as with Little Man. The easiest we got was her asking for balls, which meant she wanted an orange, an apple, blueberries, or grapes. So, even with that, there was still a bit of trial and error before we gave her the right thing.

Check out some of her more difficult words:

By the way — she still occasionally asks for bites. She does this when she wants something to eat, but doesn’t know what she wants and wants me to offer her a dozen things so she can decide. She’ll also ask for “a that” and expects me to do the same thing.

So, parents/caregivers/people who were once kids — do you have any cute/confusing words to share?

IRS v. PTO

This is one of the first posts on this blog and a repost seemed appropriate since school starts back for kids in our area this week. 

Parents of kids who have been in school — would you rather deal with the IRS or with the PTO?

Hmm?

You probably had to take a second to think about that. Answering questions related to purchases made years ago, deductions made, and other boring nonsense sounds pretty bad. But then you realize that you’re not comparing the IRS to car shopping or signing a million pages in a house closing — you’re comparing it to the PTO (Parent Teacher Organization). At best, that realization gives you a sinking feeling in your stomach. At worst, you might be having some flashbacks and screaming, “No, God, no!” in your head.

The PTO is kind of life the mafia. And the PTO powers that be treat parents like we’re lower tier drug dealers. , and you might start to realize that the IRS isn’t the worst thing in the world.

“Get out there with 50 packs of overpriced M&Ms and don’t come back until they’re gone.”

“Little Peter can only sell 10 tins of popcorn? Get his butt back out in front of the Walmart ’til they’re gone.”

“Each child was supposed to raise $300 for this fundraiser. Your child raised $298.12. You think that’s acceptable?! Hit. The. Streets. Find that money or else!”

Or something like that.

Here’s a nice little comparison of the two organizations. I think we can all agree that the PTO is the worst (assuming you are honest on your taxes, anyway).

(You can zoom in to read the smallish handwriting. Laziness prevented me from redoing it.)

What would you add to the list of crappy things about the PTO?

I should mention that this isn’t representative of the PTO at Little Man’s current school, but definitely matches up with past experiences.

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#WeekendCoffeeShare: Things Are Slowing Down

If we were having coffee, I’d first tell you that I’m excited about starting this new blog. I have another blog on WordPress, but this one is a big change, plus it’s always fun starting something new. I’ve never been artistically inclined, but I’ve been enjoying creating the doodles and learning how to use the Adobe Draw app on my iPad. Learning something new tech-related is half the fun, at least at first.

Now, on to other things…

Over our drinks I’d tell you that this has been a relatively easy week. No one has been sick (hooray March), and aside from the kids going to school, the only thing we’ve had going on this week is soccer and a couple of appointments. That’s a relatively laid back week, especially when I’m not having to wash 10 loads of pukey clothes!


Next Saturday is Little Man’s soccer jamboree. My husband is coaching this year, and I’m helping out when I can. I stayed home with Baby Girl this morning since it’s cold out for a change. (We’ve had a very warm winter, but had a freeze last night, so it’s chilly. The temps will be back in the high 60s in a couple of days, though.) My husband is doing a great job with them, so hopefully they’ll have a good season.

Outside of soccer practice, I think that’s all that is on the agenda for this coming week. It’s a relief to look at the calendar and see days with no extra appointments, project due dates, etc. It feels like we’ve been running a marathon since September, outside of a couple weeks break before Christmas. Now if we can just keep everyone healthy as well, maybe we can catch our breath!


Between a largely uneventful week and a hopefully uneventful week to come, that’s all I’ve got for today. ‘Til next time!

How was your week?

Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Nerd In The Brain.

Fun In The Sun

I’ve never been any good at drawing, to the point that I think my family wants to say, “Tell me about this, Mom,” to spare my feelings when I attempt to draw more than a stick figure. Despite this, I recently got an iPad Pro and discovered that I really enjoy doodling on it. It’s fun and relaxing and gives me something else to do beside zoning out to Netflix after the kids go to bed.

“This is adorably bad,” my husband told me when I showed him the doodle I’m sharing below. That’s better than just “bad,” right? And clearly, when he said “adorably bad,” he meant “start a blog and share it with the world.” Or something like that.

At any rate, I’m going with it. Maybe as I keep doodling, I’ll go from “adorably bad” to “not so bad.” We’ll see.

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