#AtoZChallenge: Y is for Yellowstone Park

Have you heard of the super volcano that’s going to erupt and end the world?

I have, courtesy of my 9-year-old.

The boy came home from school one day convinced that the super volcano underneath Yellowstone was going to erupt soon and when it did everyone on Earth would be dead within minutes. Everyone in the United States would be dead within seconds. And he was gonna kick back and watch it all happen, because, “it’s the end of the world — you can’t do anything about that.”

Thanks, Little Man — as if I didn’t have enough to be anxious about already.

After much fact checking, my husband and I thought we had convinced Little Man that while a super volcano erupting would indeed be catastrophic, it wouldn’t be the extinction event he was picturing. Nor is it likely. At all. We discovered tonight that our conversation didn’t really take hold, though.

At a cookout this evening, the end-of-the-world event came up. Nothing like birthday cake and mass death, right? Little Man asked his cousins if they knew about the super volcano at Yellowstone that could kill every body on Earth in seconds. They didn’t, and interestingly enough, there was no moment of panic from either boy. They went back and forth discussing ideas on how to save the world, and then had their cake. When I was that age, there wasn’t much on my mind beyond Teenage Ninja Turtles and The Baby-Sitters Club, and here these kids are talking about how to pull a Bruce Willis and prevent Armageddon 2  during a family get-together. Kids today and all that, amirite?

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#AtoZChallenge: V is for Vader

It’s no secret that the people in the Dorky household have quite a love for Star Wars. I remember the first time I watched Star Wars — when I was 20 — with the guy I was dating who would later go on to be my husband. I was in hysterics over the special effects (we watched an old VHS copy that hadn’t been remastered), and didn’t care too much for the whole space thing at first. (Despite my fascination with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, I’m not generally a fan of the sci-fi or fantasy genres.)

But, that changed, and I became enthralled by the story. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched various episodes since then, but it’s been a lot. Naturally, we passed this love on to the kids.

Little Man got his first light saber when he was three. We had banned guns, but thought the light saber would be fine. As it turns out, being cracked across one’s knuckles with a light saber does a bit more damage (hello, burst blood vessels) than a toy gun. (Except for the time I shot my husband in the eye with a Nerf gun, anyway.) We let him watch bits and pieces of the Star Wars movies around that time, and Little Man quickly became obsessed with Darth Vader, but later moved to Luke, and now has focused his interest on Princess Leia. Cough, almost tween, cough. Baby Girl also loves Star Wars. I have an adorable video of her when the opening crawl comes on and she starts shouting “Star Wars! It’s Star Wars!” and dancing. She’s also pretty good with a light saber.

For today’s doodles, I’m going to share a couple of things that the kids have said.

Right, the heat from the food was exactly like that.

Baby Girl’s love for Darth Vader isn’t as great as her love for Batman, but it’s still up there. You can sometimes hear her marching around the house humming Imperial March, and she goes all fangirl whenever Vader appears on the screen.

One day she’ll figure out that things don’t usually end well when that red light saber appears.

Are you a Star Wars fan? Which movie was your favorite?

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#AtoZChallenge: U is for Uh…

Yesterday I mentioned how both of my kids have mad skills where talking is concerned. It’s like their mouths are driven by motors, and there is no off switch. That gets a little overwhelming at times for this introvert, but generally I’m pretty enthralled with their chatter (which you can probably tell given that my A to Z Challenge theme is Things Kids Say), since much of what comes out of their mouth is either interesting or funny or so smart.

For example, a couple days ago, Little Man was telling his sister how amazing she was for building something with Legos. That boy has become a Jedi master at making my heart melt. And then the kids were chatting away over what they wanted to be when they grow up when Baby Girl told Little Man not to be a scientist, but to be a doctor like her because he’s a big boy, which made me giggle.

Other times, though, they leave me speechless or monosyllabic, at least. “Huh?” “You what?” or “Uh…” while my brain scrambles to process what I just heard. I feel like my brain has been in the “Uh…” mode for most of the past two years with all the political craziness, so you’d think that I’d be a pro and react a little faster by now, but not really.

The first “Uh…” doodle for today was a couple years ago, when I was planning Little Man’s birthday party…

That’s me, your friendly neighborhood hacker mom.

And then there was this one, when Little Man was five.

Well played, kid.

The last one falls under the “Uh…” and “Gross” umbrella as quite a few posts Baby Girl related have.

This wasn’t as bad as the poop tasting, but is still pretty damn gross. In case you were wondering, after recovering from the initial shock, I got her foot out of her mouth and grabbed the clippers to trim the dead skin away.

What have your kids said that leaves you speechless (or close to it)?

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#AtoZChallenge: S is for Sick

Little Man has always had some concerns about germs, but he’s very inconsistent. One on hand, he’ll question the staff at the doctor’s office about how often they sterilize their equipment, and on the other hand, he’ll eat something off the floor without giving it a second thought. I’m not talking about eating a cookie he dropped off a clean floor at home, which isn’t that bad, but more along the lines of scooping up cheesecake with his fingers off the floor at Walmart (which he did with Spidey-like reflexes). The gross factor is through the roof with that one.

Last week my husband asked for a drink of Little Man’s Gatorade. Little Man had just let me have a sip, but he still shot down my husband because of germs. My husband wasn’t sick or anything, so he asked why, and the kid explained how he doesn’t mind too much about drinking after girls, but that drinking after men or boys is usually out of the question because they’re extra germy.

Those are some interesting points; the thought of beard dipping makes me gag, but as far as I know, no one Little Man knows has a beard long enough to dip. For the record, Little Man has grabbed his dad’s drink plenty of times– usually after wiping off the straw or cup rim with his shirt, which we’ve explained doesn’t exactly kill the germs. But that’s where the “inconsistent” part comes to play again.

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#AtoZChallenge: O is for Obey

Last summer the kids went to vacation bible school. When I’d pick them up each day, Little Man would tell me about the lesson for the day, while Baby Girl would mostly focus on the fact that they had snacks. (This is still what she mentions first when picking her up at preschool — snacks are important.) One day Little Man told me that the lesson covered The Ten Commandments. I asked if he could name them all, and while he remembered a few, a couple were probably not quite chisel-on-a-stone-tablet worthy (and a couple others should probably be chiseled on a tablet and dropped on some people’s heads).

Which non-biblical commandment is your favorite? Mine would have to be #9.

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#AtoZChallenge: D is for Dark Knight

Some toddler girls love Princess Sophia. Others love Doc McStuffins. Others — namely the ones whose moms have to Google characters that toddler girls are into — love Batman. And Superman. And all things Star Wars. (Sigh, and as of the last couple months or so, Peppa Pig.) But mainly Batman.

So, yeah, Baby Girl loves her some Dark Knight. Her love is so intense that some might even say that Baby Girl has a minor obsession with him. Others might say that there’d be a restraining order against her if Batman actually existed.

Climbing in the windows, snatching ya’ people up.

I can’t remember exactly when the lovefest started, but it was sometime between her first and second birthday. Her brother has a couple of Batman play sets, and she loves playing with the toys alongside Little Man. Baby Girl went through a phase where she refused to wear anything but her Batman t-shirts, wanted to wear the Batman pajamas every night, and had to carry her Batman stuffie everywhere. She had a Batman themed party for her birthday last year, too.

With the theme for this post in mind, I was scrolling through old Facebook and blog posts looking for some material for today and came across a few cute things.

The first one shows her getting her teeth brushed while wearing a Batman mask. She hates getting her teeth brushed. It’s one of those things that always ends up in a meltdown of epic proportions, no matter what we do. But then one night we put a Batman mask on her to so we could show her that superheroes brush their teeth, too.

It worked. For one night, we had an adorable Batman toddler getting her teeth brushed in our bathroom. For one night, because I don’t know where that particular mask is anymore.

The second shows Baby Girl not showing me any love on my birthday. Sigh. I know that Batman’s fond of making everything about him, but on my birthday, too? C’mon, man.

The third one shows how Baby Girl introduced herself a few times. Loads of cuteness if you witness it in person.

The fourth doodle shows that Baby Girl has some real game when it comes to getting sweets from her daddy. Rather than ask for an ice cream cone herself (and likely be denied), she asked for one for Batman. And she got it. She claimed that they were sharing it, but I do have my doubts.

So…Team Batman or Team Superman? 

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#AtoZChallenge: C is for Cell Phone

Like most other kids, my two love electronics — tablets, phones, whatever they can get their grimy little hands on (and believe me, after they get their hands on said devices, there will be no doubt that “grimy” is not an exaggeration). I know some people frown and say “electronics for kids are the devil” while others have the latest and greatest device waiting on the kid before he passes through the birth canal. Whatever. I’m not going there (nor should y’all in my comments). Where I will go, however, is to the photo album on my iPhone.

Occasionally I’ll let Baby Girl hold my phone in the car, and her favorite thing to do with it is take pictures. (Her second favorite thing to do with it is turn on Itsy Bitsy Spider or an equally annoying song.) I absolutely love looking at the pictures she’s taken after I pry my phone from her peanut butter and jelly encrusted fingers. Some are random pictures of stuff in the car, but most of them are of herself.

Here is a sampling of what I get:

Rarely does she end up at our destination actually wearing her socks and shoes.

My favorites are the ones like the bottom middle, where happiness just radiates from her. (And obviously the doodle doesn’t do her justice, but you get the idea.) I once posted a picture to one of my personal social media pages where I said something to the effect of, “I hope she always looks at herself like this.” Wouldn’t that be amazing?

So, should I get the kid a selfie stick for Christmas? 😉

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#AtoZChallenge: B is for Bulba

One thing I decided to do with Baby Girl was to teach her the proper terms for her anatomy when she asked about it. No more wee-wees, pee-pees, hoo-has, or junk. As much as I hate using the proper terms (va-jay-jay is much more fun to say), the experts suggest using the right words, so that’s what I’m doing.

At the time this Things Kids Say occurred, Baby Girl had recently turned two, and her vocabulary had exploded, as typically happens with kids that age. She wanted to know the name for everything, over and over and over. (Several months later and that hasn’t really changed.) And at one point, she took further interest in herself.

“Mommy, what’s dat?” Baby Girl asked during a bath one night, when she realized there was a body part we hadn’t gone over. She was pointing down below. It was time to follow through on the anatomy game plan.

“That’s your vulva,” I told her after a brief hesitation. I felt proud — I might never use anything other than hoo-ha with my doctor, but at least I taught my toddler the proper term.

“Bulba?” she asked.

“Right, vulva,” I said.

At that, she stood up and bent over to get a better look and was apparently impressed with what she saw.

I thought I was going to crack a rib because I laughed so hard.

And this wasn’t the only “chat.” My husband came in during one bath, caught a “conversation,” and walked out after picking up his jaw off the ground.

My post about cleaning carseats was published on Scary Mommy today. This post is a bit longer than the original, and you can check it out here if you’d like. 

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#ThingsKidsSay: Ruining Reputations

Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed Little Man making the transition from calling me “Mommy” to calling me “Mom.” At first he started calling me “Mom” in front of other kids and called me “Mommy” in private, but now it’s mostly “Mom,” unless he wants something. He’s nine now, so it’s about that time, I suppose.

Yesterday I showed Little Man a draft of a doodle post that I’m working on. It shows him doing something when he was younger, and in the picture, it shows him addressing me as “Mommy,” since that is what he called me then. Accuracy and all. This, I’ve found out, is problematic for me tween-to-be.

Those hobbit-sized feet are also accurate.

That’s me — the ruiner of reputations. Maybe that will be printed on my gravestone. I wonder how much longer I’ll be able to refer to him as “Little Man” before I’m accused of ruining his street creed.

What have your kids said to make you chuckle lately?

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Life Goals #1

Netflix marathons are where it’s at, y’all.

And why on earth am I just now getting into Gilmore Girls? I had watched a few episodes before and liked it, but never watched more for some reason. (I probably defaulted back to The Office.) I picked up on it again after Prison Break started sucking. I’m loving it so far!

What’s one of your life goals right now? If you’re kinda lazy like me and don’t have one, then we can just talk about your Netflix preferences. 😉

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