I Put My Boobs On The Internet…Again

Want to know a good way to appall your 1o-year-old? Besides calling Minecraft “that freaking block game,” that is? Put your boobs on the Internet. A few months ago, I published a post called What Your Bra Really Says About You on this blog, and while Little Man generally thinks everything I write is hilarious, he wasn’t very enthusiastic about me putting my boobs online, even if they were a) doodled and b) technically covered up.

Unfortunately for Little Man, those doodled, censored boobs are posted on another website. Sammiches and Psych Meds featured the What Your Bra Really Says About You today. If you didn’t read it when I originally posted it back in October, then head over to Sammiches and Psych Meds and check it out. Heck, even if you did read it when I originally posted it, head over there and check it out anyway, because it’s been seven months now, and I know your memory isn’t so great that you remember all the details of my censored breasts.

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#AtoZChallenge: That’s A Wrap

This is my fourth year doing the challenge (although not all on the same blog) and my first time submitting all posts on time. In the words of Borat, “Great success!”

Twenty-six days, twenty-six stories (five of which were repeats), twenty-six sets of doodles. And 105 new doodles were created for those 21 brand-new posts. Considering that I was very slack the past few months, with my average of 2 to 3 posts per month, that’s a lot of new dork material. Now I just need to find a happy middle ground post schedule-wise!

This month saw me blasting to the past — anywhere from a week ago to 23 years ago. There were posts that probably made you fear for our lives a little, posts that warmed your hearts, and posts that probably made you almost lose your lunch. Variety FTW!

Here are the top five posts in terms of likes for the month:

‘U’ is for Uh-Oh – Baby Girl had some leakage on vacation.
‘Z’ is for Zzzz – My daughter makes my anxiety worse at night.
‘S’ is for Surgery – My husband took Valium for his vasectomy, and it was funny.
‘M’ is for Money – I made someone think I’m against a Down Syndrome society.
‘V’ is for Valentine’s Day – My grandmother let my husband almost scare me to death.

Runner up:
‘E’ is for Eating – I accidentally ordered a whole chicken.

The Surgery post was my favorite overall (it’s always fun to write about someone else’s embarrassing moments!), followed closely by ‘J’ is for JTT, because who doesn’t love tween cringe?

Now that it’s all over, I’m going to continue working on that book. I’ve got my categories figured out and have chosen a bunch of different stories to include. Next up: retool some of the stories, create new stories/doodles, and figure out who the heck would publish something like this/check out self-publish options.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to check out the doodled madness this month! What was your favorite post?

A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal

I know what you guys are thinking right now. “Your slack ass is going to sign up for a month-long blogging challenge? Ha.”

I’ve done the A to Z Challenge for the past three years, so obviously I’ve gotta get on board for this one, too. Time might not be plentiful at the moment, but I’m gonna do my best with it, anyway.

Always a day or two late to the party…

My theme for the A to Z Challenge this year is:

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(Had to be a little bit dramatic with it, right?)

A Blast To The Past

So, for the month of April, I will be choosing certain historical events to create crappy doodles of. The American Revolution? Doodled. Jesus ascending into heaven? Doodled. The Hindenburg disaster? Doodled.

Before you click the “X” and think, “Ain’t no way I’m signing up for this,” this is the part where I tell you that I’m kidding. While “A Blast to the Past” is definitely my theme, I’m staying as far away from historical events and figures as I possibly can. Outside of WW2, history makes me snooze, so no doodles of beheadings or whatever from me.

Instead, I’ll be doodling things that have happened in my life, my kids’ lives, etc. Some of the posts may be doodles you’ve seen already (depending on whether I’m running behind or need something to fit a certain letter for a day), and others will be brand new material. Just so you know, the past can be anywhere from when I was a kid until last week.

So, now you know the game plan. Hopefully it won’t be as tough as last year, when I did the “Things Kids Say” theme and ended up changing half of my pre-planned topics! At the end of April, I’ll reveal something I’m working on blog-wise that will probably make this whole “slack blogger” to “blogs every day blogger” transformation make sense even more.

Now…who else is doing the A to Z Challenge? Where my people?

Blog Milestone

This blog finally hit 500 WordPress followers a few days ago, so yay! I’m not sure who number 500 was, since my browser keeps freezing up and crashing when I try to view my follower list, but thanks to whoever it was! And thanks to everyone else who is following. It has been a fun six months with this blog, and I appreciate everyone who has been supportive of it.

Since the milestone notification image from WordPress is kind of blah, here’s my own:

I started working on an outline for a book tied to this blog. As slow as I am, it’ll take forever time to create the extra doodles needed to have enough to publish (plus maintaining the blog), but hopefully I’ll finish something for a change! So, here’s to continuing build the blog and hopefully a book in the distant future.

Want to connect on social media? You can find me on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Calling All Dorks

I’ve been thinking about some things I’d like to do with this blog, and one of those things is to start having guest posts that are accompanied by a couple of my doodles. If you have a funny/dorky story or idea (it doesn’t have to be related to parenting) that you can make around a 300-word blog post out of, then either leave a message in the comments with your contact info or email me at dorkymomdoodles@gmail.com and we’ll go from there. Stories you’ve previously published on your blog are fine, too.

If there is enough interest in guest posts, I may do themed posts, so stories that are holiday/season specific may be saved for later.

Isn’t this an amazing opportunity? You get to see a poorly drawn version of yourself/your family! You get a chance to have arms that look like penises no matter how hard I try to make normal arms! There could even be an unintentional thigh gap!

That’s enough enthusiasm for now. Feel free to share this with any bloggers you think might be interested.

Bad Mommy (Blogger)

A few days ago, Little Man and I went out for dinner after his Parkour class. We got to talking to someone at the restaurant when he sort of bragged that his mom is a blogger. We were talking about Star Wars stuff, and after bragging that his whole family is a bunch of nerds, he backed that up by mentioning my blog.

The girl didn’t look terribly impressed. “Mommy blogger?” she asked with a hint of derision. (Okay, maybe that derision was imagined, but she definitely wasn’t impressed.)

“Eh. Something like that.” I’m not much of a mom blogger since you won’t get advice or read anything introspective here.

Little Man wasn’t feeling the eh, though. “She draws these AMAZING doodles! And they’re so funny!” he bragged.

I felt a surge of pride — here is my almost tween bragging about his mom to a complete stranger. It might not be anything bragworthy to other adults, and is light years away from being amazing, but I’ll sure as hell take it.

And then he added a warning:

Maybe one day I’ll draw decent arms.

No, he didn’t read the post where I mentioned a certain word being my favorite, but I have shared a few posts with him. (I usually just show him the doodles, though.) My use of “damn” or “hell” or whatever it was certainly didn’t get past him. Then again, this is the child who commented, “They said two cuss words” after watching The Force Awakens, so I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that he’s keeping a running tally for my blog.

(Is this what he talks about on the playground? Other kids talk about their moms doing crafts and stuff and Little Man talks about his cussing not-quite-a-mommy-blogger mom.)

I’ll take my Mom of the Year Award now.

Thanks for the promotion, Little Man. I think.

Want to connect on social media? You can find me on Facebook, Twitter,  Instagram, and Bloglovin. You can also vote for me as a Top Mom Blogger here. (Maybe that last once should be omitted for the post where I claim I’m not a mom blogger. Hmm.)