#AtoZChallenge: F is for Fe

After soccer practice one night this week, I was helping Little Man get dried off after his shower when he commented that his belly was sore. He had mentioned running a lot at practice, so I said he’d probably overworked his abdominal muscles. I showed him where they are and he rubbed over them and was apparently impressed by what he felt, as he made this comment:

That’s right. The slender nine-year-old who hasn’t gained a pound all year has abs like iron. Boom.

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#AtoZChallenge: E is for Eating

Everyone knows that toddlers can be picky eaters, but I think mine takes the cake. She’ll eat exactly two vegetables (corn and cucumbers), one meat (fish sticks), pizza, and some other not-so-healthy things. Quesadillas are a staple food in our home. I’m super picky, but she makes me look like I have a diverse palate. I’ve been assured that she’s perfectly healthy and that she’ll eat other things within time, so there’s that at least.

But this post isn’t going to be about my food concerns as a parent so much as it is about Baby Girl’s lack of consistency regarding things that go into her mouth.

To set the stage for the doodle, you should know that green beans are met with a look of disgust. I’ll try to coax her into eating one, but eventually have to settle with her just licking one so she gets a taste and hopefully gets used to it enough to eat later. Carrots? “Yuck, I not like it!” Grilled chicken makes her cover her ears (because this is how to keep food from going into your mouth, apparently) and say, “No, Mommy, no!” as if I’m trying to poison her.

So, that’s how she reacts to normal food. You’d think that she’d apply this…high standard (or whatever you’d call it) to other things she’s willing to taste, but no. She’ll let the dog lick her sucker and then pop it back in her mouth; she tasted dog food once willingly (no siblings tricks on this one) and wasn’t fazed; and, in a significantly more disgusting move, this taste-testing happened:

Diaper changing time is going smoothly, and then…

It is what you think it is; here’s a close-up:

I heard the retching sounds Sam made and asked what was going on.

“A piece of poop fell out of her diaper and she picked it up and licked it!”

Was Baby Girl retching? No. Was she at all grossed out? No. She did look rather pleased with herself for the reaction she got from her dad, though.

Green beans – 0
Poop – 1

(After posting this, I realized this isn’t so much a Things Kids Say post as a Things Kids Did. Oh well. At least I got it in before midnight!)

What gross thing has your kid tasted?

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#AtoZChallenge: D is for Dark Knight

Some toddler girls love Princess Sophia. Others love Doc McStuffins. Others — namely the ones whose moms have to Google characters that toddler girls are into — love Batman. And Superman. And all things Star Wars. (Sigh, and as of the last couple months or so, Peppa Pig.) But mainly Batman.

So, yeah, Baby Girl loves her some Dark Knight. Her love is so intense that some might even say that Baby Girl has a minor obsession with him. Others might say that there’d be a restraining order against her if Batman actually existed.

Climbing in the windows, snatching ya’ people up.

I can’t remember exactly when the lovefest started, but it was sometime between her first and second birthday. Her brother has a couple of Batman play sets, and she loves playing with the toys alongside Little Man. Baby Girl went through a phase where she refused to wear anything but her Batman t-shirts, wanted to wear the Batman pajamas every night, and had to carry her Batman stuffie everywhere. She had a Batman themed party for her birthday last year, too.

With the theme for this post in mind, I was scrolling through old Facebook and blog posts looking for some material for today and came across a few cute things.

The first one shows her getting her teeth brushed while wearing a Batman mask. She hates getting her teeth brushed. It’s one of those things that always ends up in a meltdown of epic proportions, no matter what we do. But then one night we put a Batman mask on her to so we could show her that superheroes brush their teeth, too.

It worked. For one night, we had an adorable Batman toddler getting her teeth brushed in our bathroom. For one night, because I don’t know where that particular mask is anymore.

The second shows Baby Girl not showing me any love on my birthday. Sigh. I know that Batman’s fond of making everything about him, but on my birthday, too? C’mon, man.

The third one shows how Baby Girl introduced herself a few times. Loads of cuteness if you witness it in person.

The fourth doodle shows that Baby Girl has some real game when it comes to getting sweets from her daddy. Rather than ask for an ice cream cone herself (and likely be denied), she asked for one for Batman. And she got it. She claimed that they were sharing it, but I do have my doubts.

So…Team Batman or Team Superman? 

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#AtoZChallenge: C is for Cell Phone

Like most other kids, my two love electronics — tablets, phones, whatever they can get their grimy little hands on (and believe me, after they get their hands on said devices, there will be no doubt that “grimy” is not an exaggeration). I know some people frown and say “electronics for kids are the devil” while others have the latest and greatest device waiting on the kid before he passes through the birth canal. Whatever. I’m not going there (nor should y’all in my comments). Where I will go, however, is to the photo album on my iPhone.

Occasionally I’ll let Baby Girl hold my phone in the car, and her favorite thing to do with it is take pictures. (Her second favorite thing to do with it is turn on Itsy Bitsy Spider or an equally annoying song.) I absolutely love looking at the pictures she’s taken after I pry my phone from her peanut butter and jelly encrusted fingers. Some are random pictures of stuff in the car, but most of them are of herself.

Here is a sampling of what I get:

Rarely does she end up at our destination actually wearing her socks and shoes.

My favorites are the ones like the bottom middle, where happiness just radiates from her. (And obviously the doodle doesn’t do her justice, but you get the idea.) I once posted a picture to one of my personal social media pages where I said something to the effect of, “I hope she always looks at herself like this.” Wouldn’t that be amazing?

So, should I get the kid a selfie stick for Christmas? 😉

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#AtoZChallenge: B is for Bulba

One thing I decided to do with Baby Girl was to teach her the proper terms for her anatomy when she asked about it. No more wee-wees, pee-pees, hoo-has, or junk. As much as I hate using the proper terms (va-jay-jay is much more fun to say), the experts suggest using the right words, so that’s what I’m doing.

At the time this Things Kids Say occurred, Baby Girl had recently turned two, and her vocabulary had exploded, as typically happens with kids that age. She wanted to know the name for everything, over and over and over. (Several months later and that hasn’t really changed.) And at one point, she took further interest in herself.

“Mommy, what’s dat?” Baby Girl asked during a bath one night, when she realized there was a body part we hadn’t gone over. She was pointing down below. It was time to follow through on the anatomy game plan.

“That’s your vulva,” I told her after a brief hesitation. I felt proud — I might never use anything other than hoo-ha with my doctor, but at least I taught my toddler the proper term.

“Bulba?” she asked.

“Right, vulva,” I said.

At that, she stood up and bent over to get a better look and was apparently impressed with what she saw.

I thought I was going to crack a rib because I laughed so hard.

And this wasn’t the only “chat.” My husband came in during one bath, caught a “conversation,” and walked out after picking up his jaw off the ground.

My post about cleaning carseats was published on Scary Mommy today. This post is a bit longer than the original, and you can check it out here if you’d like. 

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#AtoZChallenge: A is for Alphabet Store

Woohoo, it’s April A to Z Challenge time! Thirty days of trying not to procrastinate are ahead of me.

To get things started — if you didn’t read my post from yesterday, my theme for the challenge is Things Kids Say. I have two hilarious kids (sometimes intentionally and some unintentionally) that I love to talk about, so why not? Since the basis for my posts will already be provided, all I have to do is come up with a doodle to go along with them. (Yeah right, I’ll totally get behind and have a day where I write H, I, J, and K are for Hey, I’m Just Kidding or something like that.)

So, for today I’m pulling out something Little Man (who is 9 now) said when he was a bit younger.

I went to school to become a teacher and did teach for a year before going the mommy route. So, when he mentioned the “alphabet store,” I automatically assumed that he was referring to the teaching supply store we had gone in once when he was much younger. That wasn’t it, though. I guessed “library” next, but that wasn’t it, either. A few minutes later, though, he was able to show me the place he wanted to visit:

Oh, that alphabet store. The one we drive past every day with the letters on it, just like he said. D’oh! I had to break it to him that, no, he couldn’t visit the alphabet store until he was 21. This didn’t sit well with him because “they shouldn’t call it an ABC store if they don’t want kids to come in,” but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

(In case you’re wondering, Mommy totally visited the alphabet store later.)

And that’s that for the first day! If you’re here for the A to Z Challenge, please leave a link to your post so I can be sure to drop by.

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#ThingsKidsSay: Ruining Reputations

Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed Little Man making the transition from calling me “Mommy” to calling me “Mom.” At first he started calling me “Mom” in front of other kids and called me “Mommy” in private, but now it’s mostly “Mom,” unless he wants something. He’s nine now, so it’s about that time, I suppose.

Yesterday I showed Little Man a draft of a doodle post that I’m working on. It shows him doing something when he was younger, and in the picture, it shows him addressing me as “Mommy,” since that is what he called me then. Accuracy and all. This, I’ve found out, is problematic for me tween-to-be.

Those hobbit-sized feet are also accurate.

That’s me — the ruiner of reputations. Maybe that will be printed on my gravestone. I wonder how much longer I’ll be able to refer to him as “Little Man” before I’m accused of ruining his street creed.

What have your kids said to make you chuckle lately?

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