Parent Speak

Have you ever noticed how adults start talking differently when they become parents? I don’t mean doing the baby talk stuff, which some certainly do, so much as the way they phrase things. Aside from trying to omit “bad words,” parents tend to phrase things in a way that won’t make them sound like assholes when the kids repeat stuff at preschool (which they surely will).

For today’s post, let’s explore a few things parents say to their kids and what those sayings really mean.

Of course, parents aren’t the only ones who have to say things more…diplomatically. Take the stranger who has been around your kid for all of five minutes, for example.


What’s your Parent Speak phrase? 

Update time! I posted this on my social media accounts yesterday (and if you aren’t following me on there, use one of the links in the sidebar to like/add me), but I’ll share it here, too, for those who missed it.

I’m planning to release the book on November 28 in both eBook and paperback formats. I get nervous putting a firm date out there, since that is practically begging for something to go wrong, but that’s what I’ve told Amazon, so I suppose I can tell y’all, too.

Here is a 3D rendering of what the book will look like:

I’ll be doing a giveaway as the end of the month gets closer. Email me at dorkymomdoodles (at) if you want to help promote the book later this month.

Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

22 thoughts on “Parent Speak”

  1. My favorite parenting phrases that I’ve never used in my life until procreating are “use your words” and “own your choices.” That last one probably goes over my kids’ heads but the idea is “Welp, kiddo. You said you wanted Cheerios. So I gave you Cheerios. If you no longer want Cheerios that is not my problem. Own your choices.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yeah, we didn’t do that. I did when I was a teacher, but with my own, nah.
    Lots of yelling.
    Don’t take food from the baby!
    If you talk to me that way again, you will not see 13!
    You’ll eat it and you’ll like it, or your breakfast will taste even better!
    This is my car and we’ll listen to what I like. When we’re in your car…
    We’re pretty awful parents and our children are horrid, as you well know.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yuuuupppp. I now say things like “That was not a good choice” instead of “What the hell are you doing!?!” and “Please don’t poke/step on/throw things at your sister” instead of “Don’t kill your sister.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the nicest way I’ve ever heard someone phrase something is when preschool teacher told a kid “we don’t hug people tightly around the neck” when the kid had the other kid in a headlock.

      Liked by 1 person

Write some words, yo.

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