Honest Bumper Stickers

It never fails that I get behind someone on the road who has one of those proud parent bumper sticker on their car. You know the ones — “Parent of a GREAT Kid!” or “Honor Student at [Made Up School]!” or “My Kid is Awesome and Yours Sucks!”

Maybe that last one is made up.

My car is bumper-sticker free. I do have a Hanson logo sticker on my window, though. My husband wasn’t wild about that, since he drives the car, too. He could remove it if he wanted, but I have one of those machines that lets me make any vinyl decal cutout I want, so it’d be pointless. Being the rolls-her-eyes-at-bumper-stickers hypocrite that I am, I also have a Duke TIP magnet for my son. But hey, at least a) it’s not a bumper sticker, b) it won’t mess up my paint, and c) I can remove it when he does something to piss me off. As we all know, removing a sorta braggy magnet is the ultimate middle finger to a tween.

(For any grandparents reading this, “C” is a joke, so don’t unleash your wrath in a strongly worded text message.)

Looking at those bumper stickers got me thinking — what if parents put honest bumper stickers on their cars? I mean, sure, it’s nice that your kid makes the honor roll, and I know you’re proud of that, but come on — you probably call your kid an asshole more in your head more times in your day than you think, “I’m so proud of my A and B making kiddo that I could pee my pants,” right?

Here are a few honest bumper stickers that are likely better suited to your (or someone’s) kid:

Now that we’ve got the honest kiddo bumper stickers out of the way, here are a few more that reflect #parentlife:

What would your honest bumper sticker say?Β 

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

44 thoughts on “Honest Bumper Stickers”

      1. Good! I’m going to do an update post one day this week, but I’m shooting for a December release date. It’s in the final stages now, and I’m trying to put together a marketing plan.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. 🀣 that potty training one.

    I don’t know of a sticker that hasn’t already been said. But I saw a recent one that said “if you hit me with my kids in the car I’ll beat your…. until the police get here” I kinda need that. Or a “if you can read this you’re too close… and I’m about to break check you.” πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

    Liked by 1 person

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