Parenting Music

I know what y’all are thinking — “Not another post about Daddy Finger!” No worries. When I wrote that title, I absolutely was not referring to the shitty songs that we parents have to listen to. Not even a little.

Instead, I’m thinking more along the lines of “Songs I’ve heard before that I never thought could relate to parenting, but actually do.”

And that is a mouthful for a title, so I went with Parenting Music.

There are a lot of songs that take on more of a deeper meaning when you have kids. Some of those are sappy, and we don’t do sappy on this blog (well, at least not today), so I’m focusing on the songs parents can relate to in more of a “This totally sums up parenting” way.

No Doubt – Don’t Speak

When certain individuals have talked for 20 minutes straight about Minecraft and I feel like my head is going to explode, this song applies. When other individuals have talked nonstop about which character from The Incredibles or Peppa Pig they want to be, or like the best, or want for Christmas or…you get the idea…this song applies. And when other individuals talk nonstop about Microsoft Excel and spreadsheets and Pivot tables, this song applies. Oops, the last one goes to my husband and not the kids, but still — DON’T SPEAK!

Don’t speak
I know just what you’re saying
So please stop explaining
Don’t tell me ’cause it hurts

It really does hurt. My head. It hurts my head.

DMX – Party Up

This should be every parent’s anthem. It’s perfect for any situation where the kids are acting like little heathens and you want to express how they’re making you feel without letting loose a string of cuss words.

A little side story to this one — before a few months ago, I didn’t know who sang the Y’all Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind song (as I called it) or any of the lyrics beyond the chorus. At any rate, I knew the hell out of the chorus for some reason, which I sang whenever the kids did something that made me want to drop four-letter words.

Little Man took a liking to that song, and I’m pretty sure he intentionally pushed my buttons at times to get me to sing it. Anyway, one day he asked about the song, and I told him that I didn’t know all of it and offered to look it up on YouTube for him. I typed in “Y’all gonna make me lose my mind” on YouTube, clicked an official looking video, and went back to whatever I was doing when my husband came in and about had a cow when he realized what LM was listening to.

For the record, the lyrics sound completely garbled to my crappy ears.

Well, no, of course not, but based on those few lines, how bad could it be?

He told me to pull up the lyrics. I did. Yikes.

Sting – I’ll Be Watching You

Y’all know how it is with kids. They are constantly eagle eyeing you, especially when you’re trying to sneak a cookie after you’ve told them no more junk, or are trying to check your texts after you’ve declared screens banned for the rest of the day. It doesn’t stop there with my kids, though. They’re straight up little stalkers. It doesn’t matter whether I’m on the toilet, asleep, or brushing my teeth, someone is usually there watching me.

It gets straight up creepy at times.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every poop you take
Every curse you make
I’ll be watching you

No, I’ll Be Watching You didn’t need a rewrite at all to be declared a parenting song, but I tweaked it anyway.

MC Hammer – U Can’t Touch This

What is it with kids touching everything? Even older kids can’t keep their hands off shit. Stop touching my phone, my snacks, and my toys.

Stop grabbing my tampons, my shampoo, and my pens. For the love of God, not the pens! I am very particular about the kind of ink pens I use (I prefer the Zebra stainless steel fine point pens or the Pilot Precise V5 pens), and they are always putting their grubby little fingers on them, which means they get lost. Don’t touch this!

Maybe if I adopted some of MC Hammer’s dance moves and sang out “You can’t touch this!” they’d be more inclined to stop. At least the older one would out of embarrassment, I hope.

Destiny’s Child – Say My Name

They say “the” is the most commonly used word in the English language. All parents know this isn’t the case when it comes to kids, though. Some variation of “Mom” or “Dad” is used at least ten times as much as “the,” and while it is often said in a way that can make your heart melt, it can also be said in a way that makes you die a little inside.

Say my name, say my name
The kids are always around you
Saying “Mama I need you”
Won’t you play another game
Say my name, say my name

Don’t say my name! Especially when you do it in a Feeny Call sort of way!

Bonus: Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way

I don’t know which is worse, this song or the kids demanding to have everything Burger King style, but either way, the song is relevant.

The ultimate parenting version of the song:

Tell me why
Ain’t nothin’ but a headache
Tell me why
Ain’t nothin’ but a migraine
Tell me why
I never want to hear you say
I want it that way

Which song would you dub a parenting song after having kids?

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

48 thoughts on “Parenting Music”

  1. You’re killing me. I BOL when I saw the DMX song. I figured you didn’t know that one. Hysterical! I wish you were doing this blog when I had my littles. I would have taken so much comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone. Now, I just smile, laugh and am thankful those days are behind me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL! I love them being small, but there are some things I won’t miss. I mean, at what age does a 10-year-old boy develop any sense of modesty and stop walking in on you?!

      Like

  2. I like your version of I’ll Be Watching You way more than Sting’s. Those kind of lyrics are better suited to a child who’s watching mommy’s every move, for good or for bad, than some random dude watching like a hawk. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. BAHAHAHA! Great post! Love it!
    We quote song lyrics constantly. Constantly.
    “She take my money…”
    “Seven inches from the sun…”
    “Teenagers scare the livin shit outta me…”
    “Shake it off…”
    “Drive me Daddy…”
    “Sugar, bring me sugar…”
    And that’s just from the last few days.
    We all know the lyrics to Party Up. Mmmhm. How you did NOT know, I cannot know. But also, BAHAHAHA!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Y’all sound like so much fun 😀

      My husband told me he was shocked that I knew any of the lyrics to Party Up. “It really doesn’t seem like something someone who listens to a squeaky clean band like Hanson would listen to.” He don’t know me.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. When Noah started rolling over, we would sing “We be rollin’, hatein’, blah blah blah ridin’ dirty” (because we didn’t know all the words). Usually we just make up our own lyrics to songs like “If You’re Happy and You Know It”.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I feel like I’m forever saying ‘STOP!’

    So, ‘Stop’ by Spice Girls

    ‘Stop right now, thank you very much!’

    Funnily enough, I most likely say all of that!

    Britney Spears, ‘Crazy.’

    They drive me crazy but still love them! aha. Wonderful post!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is hilarious. I was searching for music related blogs and yours is genius. I used to work in a nursery in my early twenties and members of staff used to allocate the kids their own songs (privately, of course the little darlings would never have known). But I totally get this!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I used to sing the chorus to Party Up when I worked at Popeyes. My workers would know I was getting irritated when they heard it coming from the back of the store. And not very well I might add. lol

    I love this post! It is so funny and yet sadly enough so true for us mom’s.

    Liked by 1 person

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