A Sneaky Little What?

Hello from the land of viruses, nasty colds, and migraines! Plus general busyness. I think everyone is mostly healthy now, so yay! Yuckiness aside, the past week has been good. My son landed a part in two plays he auditioned for (which most of y’all already know, but I’m still in proud mama mode), one of my posts was published on the Erma Bombeck site, HumorWriters.org, and my husband got our swimming pool open. Good stuff!

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, on to the funny…

We have a dog named Bilbo. We named him after a character from The Hobbit. If you haven’t read The Hobbit (or watched the movie), then you should know that the character is persuaded to go on an adventure with a wizard and a bunch of dwarfs to be a burglar, on account of him being small since he’s a hobbit. We are big Hobbit/Lord of the Rings fans in my house (to the point that I have three LOTR inspired tattoos), so Bilbo was the perfect name for the dog.

And it really was perfect, because that dog loves to steal stuff.

Before we got an invisible fence, Bilbo had free run of the neighborhood. (It’s a small neighborhood in a rural area, where other dogs have free run, too.) All of that came to an end, though, when he started bringing up stuff he’d stolen. At first it was a couple of balls, and then there was a beach towel, which wasn’t so bad, but then he brought up a wild goose, and that put an end to his freedom.

This didn’t stop Bilbo’s thieving ways, though. He has since turned his sights to food. He is super sneaky about it, too. For example, if a slice of pizza is on a plate with some other food, he can swipe it right off the plate without making a sound or knocking anything else over, which is pretty impressive.

Yesterday Little Man was eating a sandwich when the burglar struck again. He had it in his hand and was looking at something when Bilbo quietly sneaked up and took it. Little Man was surprised, but chuckled over it, and said the following:

Whoa! That was true (and hilarious), but whoa!

Now, as some of you have gathered from reading this blog (as well as those of you who know me in real life), I’m not exactly against using curse words. I try to be careful around the kids, mainly because I know Baby Girl would repeat them. Little Man has only dropped a curse word around someone once (in front of two preachers, sigh), but otherwise he knows better and will ask permission before using such words. So, even though “bad words” don’t bother me on any level, I was still surprised that he said that, since a) I didn’t realize he knew the word, b) he doesn’t drop such words without permission, and c) his sister was present.

(Bastard is one of those words that falls in the gray area for me, but if he dropped it at school, it would be a problem, so a bad word it is.)

Little Man was surprised by this.

I laughed and laughed over that. I explained that “little bastard” was definitely not a country saying, and something that he shouldn’t repeat at school or in front of his sister. I asked where he heard it, but he wasn’t certain.

Now let’s hope that Baby Girl doesn’t repeat this. She didn’t appear to be paying attention to any of it, so hopefully I won’t get any calls from the preschool in the fall reporting, “Baby Girl called a kid who stole her blocks a little bastard.”

(By the way, if you’re someone who likes to go on about how their kids would never say such words, this isn’t the place to post about it.)Β 


Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

31 thoughts on “A Sneaky Little What?”

  1. Haha, well he did use it correctly and it was funny, so I think I would have handled it the same way. “Don’t say it at school or around Mamaw” is the thing here.
    I think it’s funny your Bilbo dog is a thief! πŸ˜› Uncanny!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My youngest tossed out an inappropriate word at a restaurant once when he was about seven. It wasn’t too bad, but we were with my mom and sister, and after a pause of surprise, we all burst out laughing. He was a sensitive kid at the time, and I think our reaction scared him. When I explained the situation, while also stressing he should not use it again, he was so embarrassed, that I ended up feeling bad for him. πŸ˜„

    Liked by 3 people

  3. bahahaha i love your disclaimer! i am pretty sure our almost two year old said β€œoh shit” the other day. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kudos to the kid for using the words correctly. I mean if we can’t give credit where credit is due, then what’s the point! I remember as a child that I knew that ‘damn’ was a bad word, but somehow thought that if I said ‘hot’ in front of it, I was not going to get in trouble. I was wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Normally I don’t swear, but the combination of an almost-3-year-old and nursing a baby has turned me into a sailor. (My husband’s in the Navy… see what I did there!) I decided I needed to work on taming my mouth when I had to convince my son I was talking about a flock of geese.
    And though this isn’t swearing, he now yells “Get out of the road!” when we are in traffic and “Mama mia!” when someone honks.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My wife’s cousin’s kid (how’s that for a relation?) when she was 2ish was spending time with her grandparents and they were having trouble keeping the squirrels off the bird feeder. Her grandfather set up a contraption in hopes to deter them. Soon enough hear her holler, “Hey Papa! The little bastard’s back!” Kudos to them for not only using it correctly but with perfect timing.

    Liked by 1 person

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