#AtoZChallenge: ‘S’ is for Surgery

A little over a year ago, my husband got a vasectomy. Before you go, “TMI, my friend, TMI,” you should know that the moments leading up to that procedure were hilarious (well, embarrassing at first, but hilarious later), and those moments are the basis of today’s post.

Between pushing 40, having two kids, and having a wife whose birth control packets were often only half used, my husband decided that a vasectomy was necessary. After it was scheduled, he was instructed to take a Valium the morning before surgery, something that he had never taken before. I hadn’t taken it before either, but we both assumed it would just loosen him up and help him relax a little.

It relaxed him, all right. It relaxed him to the point that the half hour leading up to surgery was simultaneously the most hilarious and embarrassing half hour I have ever spent in my life. Eventually I took to writing down hisย comments on my phone, since I knew they’d make for great blog material later.

Here’s how that half hour went…

Regarding another urologist who walked into the building:

After a bunch of nurses walked in, he loudly remarked:

When his urologist entered:

(Someone clearly didn’t read his vasectomy procedure packet.)

On a female patient who came in:

Thoughts on Valium, while kicked back in a chair in the waiting room:

Regarding a nurse who came in only five minutes early.

I have no idea what this one was about:

After the procedure was over:

(I wasn’t very amused there, since I was kind of on the fence about the procedure. I love all the babies.)

I vote that they should officially rename the vasectomy the “Snip-Snip-Sniparoo.” At the very least, they should add that plus “No more babies for you” to their educational material.

Which was your favorite Valium inspired comment?

Thanks for joining me for the April A to Z Challenge! If you’re participating, please leave a link in the comments section so I can check out your post.

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Author: Erika

Iโ€™m a SAHM to two kids. When Iโ€™m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

34 thoughts on “#AtoZChallenge: ‘S’ is for Surgery”

  1. Man, I feel cheated. My husband has been on Valium, morphine, dilaudid and all manner of pharmaceuticals for his various surgeries and pain management issues and he never says anything remotely funny. He may have said something along the lines of “I could go through life like this” but neglected to add the part about not being useless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now I feel cheated. I didn’t get a Valium. They may not have been invented back when I had the procedure. I had it done in the doctor’s office on a Friday morning, before I went to work. I got a local anesthetic injection, and went to the office after.
    The shot was just wearing off by the time I left work at 5 PM. Still, I only took 4 of the 8 pain pills Doc gave me, over the weekend. He warned me that I would feel like I got kicked in the crotch by a horse. Actually, I didn’t. I looked like a horse had kicked me – bruises in colors not normally found in nature.
    Funny little story. I hope your husband is over the Valium, and the surgery. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My favorite is him asking about the woman getting a vasectomy. The “hee-hee. Ask her” kills me!
    Not TMI, as it’s actually quite common. People just don’t talk about it. My husband had what he calls “the snippety-snip”. He’s not much of an “-eroo” guy. He wasn’t instructed to take Valium, though. Interesting.

    (A to Z at Doesn’t Speak Klingon)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. They gave me valium for my IVF egg transfer. Supposed to relax both me and my uterus. (hey, it worked!) I told them I needed more than they thought so they gave me double and told me not to take the extra until I got there because I probably wouldn’t need it. I took it before we walked in the door and then the extra when we got there. Best egg transfer ever! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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