A little over a year ago, my husband got a vasectomy. Before you go, “TMI, my friend, TMI,” you should know that the moments leading up to that procedure were hilarious (well, embarrassing at first, but hilarious later), and those moments are the basis of today’s post.
Between pushing 40, having two kids, and having a wife whose birth control packets were often only half used, my husband decided that a vasectomy was necessary. After it was scheduled, he was instructed to take a Valium the morning before surgery, something that he had never taken before. I hadn’t taken it before either, but we both assumed it would just loosen him up and help him relax a little.
It relaxed him, all right. It relaxed him to the point that the half hour leading up to surgery was simultaneously the most hilarious and embarrassing half hour I have ever spent in my life. Eventually I took to writing down his comments on my phone, since I knew they’d make for great blog material later.
Here’s how that half hour went…
Regarding another urologist who walked into the building:
After a bunch of nurses walked in, he loudly remarked:
When his urologist entered:
(Someone clearly didn’t read his vasectomy procedure packet.)
On a female patient who came in:
Thoughts on Valium, while kicked back in a chair in the waiting room:
Regarding a nurse who came in only five minutes early.
I have no idea what this one was about:
After the procedure was over:
(I wasn’t very amused there, since I was kind of on the fence about the procedure. I love all the babies.)
I vote that they should officially rename the vasectomy the “Snip-Snip-Sniparoo.” At the very least, they should add that plus “No more babies for you” to their educational material.
Which was your favorite Valium inspired comment?
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