#AtoZChallenge: ‘C’ is for Cold

My husband appointed himself the Snot Czar of our household many years ago. This means that he takes it upon himself to handle the snot issues of Baby Girl, Little Man, and myself.

Yes, even mine. I’m a 34-year-old sort of adult, and my husband thinks it’s his job to clear my nasal passages.

You’re probably thinking, “Ew” and maybe even, “Well, at least he cares,” but here’s how he used to deal with that. Instead of running the dehumidifier or cool mist sprayer, whichever of those is meant for helping with congestion, and instead of giving me Mucinex or nasal spray, he would break out the bulb-style nasal aspirator.

The first time he offered, I thought, “Why not?” He used it on Little Man (a baby at the time) and it worked. How nice that he’d go that far to help me feel better, right? I wouldn’t do it for him. (They say that in a relationship there’s always one person who loves harder than the other person, and if the whole mucus/bulb thing is any indication, clearly he’s the one who is more smitten.)

Here’s why not: it’s what I imagine it would feel like if the zombies tried to suck out my brain through my nose during the apocalypse. Instead of just sticking the tip in and suctioning a bit out, he rammed the thing up there as far as he could and I’m pretty sure he came within a millimeter or two of puncturing my brain.

It didn’t help. He insisted that I just needed to be still, stop acting like a child and squirming around, and let him do his thing.

“No, I’ll just wait and let things clear up on their own.”

It’s all fun and games until your husband chases you throughout the house, determined to use this godawful suction thing on you in an attempt to help clear up some of the crud from the monthly sinus infection.

Baby Girl was prone to having colds pretty often when she was a baby, so we constantly looked for ways to make things easier on her. We made sure she was elevated when sleeping, used a VapoRub machine, and used a bulb to get the snot out. Those didn’t help a lot, but one day we found something that did wonders for Baby Girl’s snot:

That, my friends, is the NoseFrida Snotsucker. (You can see the real deal here, and this is not an affiliate link.) It works by placing one end into the baby’s nostril and sucking the other end. Thanks to a tube and filter deal in the middle, you don’t get boogers into your mouth. It works wonders. Baby Girl hated it as much as she hated the crappy bulb, because she hates all the things, but it worked incredibly well.

I sucked snot once and passed on doing it again, because I was concerned about breathing booger air, so my husband took over responsibilities. (For the record, I would have risked booger air had my husband not been around.)

True to form, not only did my husband use the Snotsucker on BG, he also tried to use it on Little Man and me. Little Man cried as much as BG when my husband tried to use it on him, and I threatened to strangle him with it if he went near me. It would have been a shame to become a headline over something like that.

You probably weren’t expecting a kinda gross story about mucus when you saw that I was doing a Blast to the Past theme, but trust me, this is far less gross and embarrassing than the other ‘C’ post I thought of.

Thanks for joining me for the April A to Z Challenge! If you’re participating, please leave a link in the comments section so I can check out your post.

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

38 thoughts on “#AtoZChallenge: ‘C’ is for Cold”

  2. now i’m curious about your other c post! hahaha my husband does the nose frida with the kids, i just can’t bring myself to do it! lol

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  8. Oh Jeez, Louise. I know a booger bulb suction thingy is relatively harmless but come on. I am the one who usually tortures another that way. I think I understand how it feels to be on the receiving end. lol, this would’ve been a good letter B for booger bulb or something. I love it!
    Here is my Letter C post.

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  9. We were big fans of the snot sucker! I actually just threw it out the other day since he turns 3 soon and can only imagine how he’d react if I approached him with that thing now, lol. I was a little sad actually. Like awwww, goodbye baby snot sucker! Those days are over!

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  10. We didn’t have snot-suckers, only bulbs. I can imagine the snot-sucker is wonderful.
    I love how you have to say that, about if your husband wasn’t around, you’d do it again. My husband is the official cleaner of vomit and broken glass. OBVIOUSLY WHEN HE’S NOT HOME, I CLEAN THOSE THINGS. I have to say it. I guess people think the worst of chore assignment?
    Anyway, another funny post 🙂

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    1. In the words of Little Man, “people be judging!” It’s the same with the public restrooms. I don’t wanna take the kids, so my husband usually does, and this is sometimes met with judgment from some people in my family. I’m like, COME ON, obviously I’d take them if he weren’t here, jeez.

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  11. My husband is a much better nurse than I am, but I think he would draw the line at snot sucker, although he did clean my drains for two weeks after I had surgery.
    My daughter went through a phase in late middle school where she sent away for free stuff and got a neti pot like thing that was actually a squeeze bottle with a nozzle on the end. I had a horrid cold and was so stopped up I was pretty sure I was going to suffocate, so she brought it to me and read the directions to me as I squirted the warm, salty water up my nose. What she DIDN’T read was that you shouldn’t use it if BOTH nostrils are completely blocked, and the water backed up into my ears and suffocation would have been infinitely better.

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  12. OMG this is hilarious. We used none of those devices on our kids, must be something new they just invented. They always invent nifty gadgets after my kids are grown. I definitely would run from my husband were he to come near me with that thing.

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