Yo Mama: The Ultimate Smackdown

Little Man has gotten into Yo Mama jokes lately. Much like when he discovered knock-knock jokes a few years ago, he tells these frequently. Some of them are cringey and others are downright hilarious.

He included the above jokes in a Cootie Catcher, by the way. Well, he calls it a Fortune Teller, but as a child of the 90s, I refuse to call it by anything else.

I had an ultimate parent fail a few weeks ago when LM asked me to tell him some Yo Mama jokes. I rattled off a few and told him I’d look some up to email him later. Later that night, after LM went to bed, I did a Google search for kid-friendly Yo Mama jokes, read the first couple of jokes, copied and pasted the page, and then sent the email.

I never closed out the tab that the jokes were on, so after I worked a little, did some reading, etc., I went back to the tab to glance through the jokes, and let me tell you, not all of them were kid-friendly by any stretch of the imagination.

Here are a few of the jokes that would’ve resulted in a total shitfest had Little Man opened the email. (And I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened had he opened that email at school.)

Sweet baby Jesus.

My arm is totally asking for an anchor tattoo to complete the Popeye look.

After having a minor heart attack, I collected myself enough to realize that a) I have access to Little Man’s account since I’m the one who set it up, b) he’s in bed, c) he’ll never know if I delete it right the fuck now.

So I did. Whew. I also remembered to empty his trash, being the savvy mom that I am. And then I found another page of jokes that was marked as being kid-friendly, read through them, and then emailed them along. Some time later, I went back to the vulgar jokes and read them all to my husband while laughing hysterically. (If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m never growing up.)

In case you’re wondering, none of that ordeal has anything to do with the title. Regardless of how inappropriate those jokes were for kids, they weren’t Ultimate Smackdown level by any means. Nope, the joke that earns that title came from Baby Girl. Yes, the three-year-old Baby Girl.

Like any younger sibling, Baby Girl pays attention to everything Little Man does or says, and his incessant telling of Yo Mama jokes did not escape her. We figured this out when she said, “Yo Mama SO ugly…” and stopped when my husband shut her down. She started telling jokes of her own, some were repeats, some were incoherent, and then there was this:

Yep, Baby Girl is straight up savage.

Feel free to tell me about a time you almost majorly screwed up as a parent. If you don’t have that, then I’ll take your best Yo Mama joke.

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

28 thoughts on “Yo Mama: The Ultimate Smackdown”

  1. oh my gosh that is hilarious! sometimes the little ones picking up habits from the older ones can be the worst! my sweet, sweet cuddle bug has started stomping his feet and sighing loudly when mad at me or when he doesn’t like what i have to say…all thanks to his older sister…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Mine hasn’t started Yo Mama jokes. But she has repeated the interrupting cow joke from “Home” a bazillion times.

        Her new thing is quoting the mean fox from Zootopia that goes “baa baa what are you gonna do cry?” Regularly. And out of context. We can just be like what do you want for lunch.

        Baa baa what you gonna do mommy?

        Like what? You’re the worse bully ever and not in a good way 🤣


    1. lol why did your mom want one??

      I never could make those myself, but LM and his origami loving self can make one real quick. Now if he could just make one about who we’re gonna marry or what kind of house we’re gonna live in…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg, I’m laughing SO hard!! Your kids are too funny! BG is great! We are so 90s kids, yeah.
    My parenting fail is my mouth… I’ve said “freaking” (at least I didn’t say f**king) once or twice, and I’ve caught my 4yo saying it … WHOOPS. I stopped that fast. Also I gave her an innocuous-looking book for Christmas with ballet stories in it – illustrated, and it’s sort of Where’s Waldo style. Anyway, turns out most ballets are tragedies, so the stories are filled with killing, murder, and general mayhem. NOT what I wanted my 4yo to hear!! Really hard to take back that gift!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You said freaking a couple times and that’s a fail?! Lawd, your ears would burn in this house 😀 Really, though, LM tries saying that and it drives me nuts. Definitely one of those “Don’t do as I do (even though I try to censor myself) but do as I say” things while he’s young.

      oh lord lol!


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