Throwing WHAT In The Well?

Have you ever gotten nostalgic and watched or read something that you enjoyed as a kid, only to wonder why the hell you enjoyed that thing? I have, and no, it’s not Hanson (and a big “Screw you” to my husband for saying that).

I loved Boy Meets World when I was young — and I can still appreciate the wholesome messages on some level — but I’m baffled at how I could have enjoyed something with so many plot holes. And, on a similar note, there were the songs Pink by Aerosmith, Butterfly by Crazy Town, and Barbie Girl by Aqua. It was quite some time before I realized what they were really about (sex, FYI), which shows how naive I was as a teenager.

Recently Baby Girl and I were reading through a book of nursery rhymes, some of which I remembered reading as a kid. It was a cute little pop-up book, but after a few pages of rhymes, the cuteness factor went out the window. Much like the fairy tales we were read as kids, many nursery rhymes have varying degrees of fucked-upness. Either my memory sucks or my mind protecting itself by shutting out the memories, as I didn’t realize how messed up they were.

Read on to see if you remember any of these warped rhymes

Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer’s wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

Damn, farmer’s wife. It’s not bad enough that these little bastards are blind, but you’ve gotta go cutting off their tails to get your jollies?

Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

I definitely remember the first half of this rhyme, but the second half? Nope.

Those poor kids. So not only did they live in the nursery rhyme version of a meth house and have to go hungry, they also had to get a beating for their lack of food.

Ding Dong Bell

Ding, dong, bell,
Pussy’s in the well.
Who put her in?
Little Johnny Thin.
Who pulled her out?
Little Tommy Stout.
What a naughty boy was that,
To try to drown poor pussy cat,
Who never did him any harm,
But killed all the mice in the farmer’s barn.

This one made me close the book of nursery rhymes for good.

Were there any songs, rhymes, etc. that you enjoyed when you were younger that left you going “WTF?!” as an adult?

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

29 thoughts on “Throwing WHAT In The Well?”

  1. Cracking up over here!!

    I have always wondered about the three blind mice. How is that a thing? But all the others are equally messed up. Wow.

    As for the one that made you stop … I remember something going in the well and something coming out. But like you, I must have repressed the specifics.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ring around the roses, pocket full of posies, ashes ashes, we all fall down. That one’s about The Plague, I think. Pretty morbid how people used to carry around herbs to mask the stench of death.

    On an even scarier note, in 1997 yours truly consciously (and meticulously) arranged his college course schedule around reruns of Beverly Hills 90210. Appalled yet? No? I also invented a drinking game about that terrible awful show. One of the rules: every time Dylan McKay (actor name Luke Perry) did his third-rate James Dean impersonation on screen, you had to drink a shot of Evan Williams whiskey. Yeah, I was a borderline alcoholic. And I got thrown out of school after two short semesters. My only dream now is that the University of North Carolina at Asheville, which was totally justified in chucking me out, will have to give me an honorary doctorate when I win the Pulitzer Prize. Per chance to dream. . .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I identify with the woman who lived in a shoe.
    Yes, am very familiar with the fuckedupedness. Read my children the original English fairy tales and Grimm’s, much to my MIL’s dismay.
    Taught your kids the meaning behind Ring Around the Rosie yet? 😉
    I probably have a lot more tv in that group — like, The Munsters. I tried watching that again maybe ten years ago, and I was not amused. I’ll love them forever, just not with my current brain.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. HAHA!! Yes, they are ALL eff’d up!! “Goosey goosey gander, whither shall I wander …. something something he would not say his prayers so I threw him down the stairs” or somesuch. Or Ring around the rosie coming out of the Black Death of 1348? Really sick stories we teach!! I stay away from nursery rhymes now and use those silly songs like The Wheels on the Bus and Itsy Bitsy Spider – as freaking annoying as they are after the 50th time……

    Liked by 2 people

  5. And Disney movies!!!! That’s sick shit: Bambi’s mom dying; Snow White living with a bunch of pervs; Cinderella’s step-mom was beyond a bitch, and hey! Snow White’s mom was outta the picture, too. who was killing off Hollywood cartoon moms?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shit don’t forget Dumbo! I couldn’t deal with watching that movie after I got older/was a parent. It is so depressing, had me crying when they took the poor baby from his mom and locked her up.

      Like

  6. hahaha every time i read the original fairy tale (instead of the disney version) i’m always blown away by how dark and twisted they are. i used to love the brave little toaster as a kid; but watched it recently as an adult and just sat there thinking why the heck did i ever enjoy this?!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Um, wtf?! No wonder we only remember the first bits of the rhymes! I, too, loved Boy Meets World and “Barbie Girl”! My friend and I even made up a dance to “Barbie Girl,” but we weren’t allowed to perform it at our day camp talent show… hmm.. wonder why? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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