School Days, School Days

And just like that, I’m down to one kid for the bulk of my mornings and afternoons. Little Man went back to school today — he’s now a fourth grader.

I could talk about how I can’t believe that my baby boy is close to being in middle school, but then I’d get all teary-eyed. Not that you could see me, but just know that I would. Any milestone or event that thrills my husband manages to leave me feeling bittersweet, with a strong lean towards bitter.

Before I have to wipe something out of my eye, let’s talk about what Little Man going back to school really means for us.

Tardies

We are late people. Doesn’t matter where we’re going, you can guarantee that we’re going to be the last ones rolling up. It kills me not being wherever I’m going five minutes early, but no matter how much we plan to leave on time, things happen and we’re late. This drives me nuts, but this is how it’s been since we added on a second kid.

I don’t know if there are records for tardies at school, but if there are, we’re definitely contenders for the trophy. (Or maybe it’d be a stern look and a lecture about how we’re being detrimental to his education.) We rarely manage to get out the door on time, and it’s not for lack of trying. Little Man is one of the slowest kids on earth. I’m pretty sure that Slowly, Slowly, Slowly Said the Sloth was written about him. He gets out of bed slowly. He uses the bathroom slowly. He gets distracted by a dozen things on the way to the table, and when he does manage to make it to the table, he chews very slowly. Even when we get him out of bed 20 minutes earlier, he still thwarts that.

On top of the slowness, there’s always something — the lunch box, the belt, glasses, etc. that gets left behind. Or maybe Baby Girl has to poop the second she gets strapped in her car seat. Despite our best efforts, we’re still often the ones driving like maniacs to shove him out of the car before the tardy sign is put out.

Pokemon

Pokemon cards make me want to cry more than watching my babies grow up. Every kid has an obsession that their parents can just barely tolerate, and Pokemon is it for me. Little Man tends to develop tunnel vision with his hobbies or interests, and every so often his focus lands on Pokemon cards. When that happens, I listen to nonstop chatter about which Pokemon is best, which one has the least points, what each Pokemon evolves into, etc. I try my best to seem interested, but every time he starts on about Pokemon, a part of me dies a little.


PB&J

In the remaining few weeks of the past school year, most parents were complaining about all of the projects due or having to pay for lost books. Not my husband and me. Instead, we were griping about having to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Let’s put it like this — if Little Man stopped eating PB&Js, Jif and Smucker’s would feel the impact. The kid would eat PB&J for every single meal if you let him. He’s mostly a great eater and will try just about any non-spicy food, but when it’s up to him, it’s PB&J.

You wouldn’t think that making one type of sandwich for 100+ days would wear on you so much, but somehow it does. And it’s not just me — when we’d pack Little Man’s lunchbox at night, my husband and I would race to be the one to get the snacks just so we wouldn’t have to make the godforsaken PB&J. That might sound a bit dramatic, but I swear, the fart noise the squeeze jelly makes gets to you, somehow, after hundreds of times. One day we’ll see that as an enhanced interrogation technique.

(I was going to do a doodle of someone being tortured with jelly here, but then I thought it might be in poor taste.)

We could just let LM pack his own lunch, but it’s one of those parent things we mostly want to do just because. We could also insist on different sandwiches, but the boy is rail thin, and lord knows I don’t want him going on a hunger strike. So welcome back, PB&Js.

2017-2018 school year, here we come.

What’s something you don’t look forward to about school starting back?

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

59 thoughts on “School Days, School Days”

  1. Oh HELLO, fellow Late Ones. My whole family are Late People, save my tortured drivers license-less middle child. She might be happier away at college after all. I am dedcended from a long line of Late People. I was once SUSPENDED from school for repeat tardies. Before I was old enough to drive, so I question the schools judgement there, but whatever. My mom took me shopping because what was she going to do? It was totally her fault. 🙃

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  2. You are lucky the kids don’t get in trouble for being late. Mine would be in a panic if we were running late and make me write some kind of note because they would have to go to the office first and get a tardy slip. Fortunately, none of my kids were stuck on one thing. We used to buy the Lunchables that had cheese, crackers and turkey. As they got older, they started buying lunch from the cafeteria. I don’t miss those days at all!

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  3. Uh, I had two slow kids. They sped up a bit around adolescence. I’m a speedy person. Time-conscious, always. I.feel.your.pain. There are times, even now, when Moo and I are sitting in the car/standing outside the car wondering wtf Sassy has been doing with her body… it works, I’ve seen it. Why should it take an able-bodied person so long to get in and out of a car? I don’t get it. And Bubba was WORSE.
    Pokemon won’t die, E. Is like, Pokemon got into my head with Bubba and he grew up and I thought it was over and then Moo got into it, and then they brought out PokemonGO! and Sassy joined the madness and it just won’t ever go away!!!
    As for packing LM’s lunches, you said it, he’s big enough, but your his mama, you decide 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just…how? How is it possible to be that slow? It’d be impressive if it weren’t so darn frustrating at times lol. My brother was the same way. He’d sit over his bowl of oatmeal for half an hour, chewing so slow. Like with LM, I’d often sit down and just feed it to him to make him move.

      I’ll admit, I got into the PokemonGo briefly. I played with LM and it was pretty fun for a couple weeks, but that was my limit.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. We have a few more weeks before school starts after Labor Day. Lunches ain’t no thing. When they eat the same thing every day it becomes a monotonous chore in the morning. I’m not looking forward to strict bedtimes. Summer bedtimes are usually so much easier. When they HAVE to get to bed on time for school though… It’s like marching them off to the gallows!

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    1. You’re a fun dad — I didn’t let the kids stay up late this summer much. For the most part, they kept their 8:30ish bedtime. Of course the boy was up at the crack of down most mornings, but today he didn’t want to get up!

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      1. HAHAHA I guess I should have clarified “late”. On school night the boys start getting ready for bed at 6:30 – snack, PJs, brush, floss, rinse, and read until 7:30 or 8. Late means they get to get ready for bed at 8 down by 9. The oldest is up by 6:30 no matter how late he goes to bed.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My kids would riot if we started that early! I like that time frame, sounds like it would really ease them into things and be calming. When it’s soccer season, they have games that start at 7:15 and don’t end until 8:30, gah.

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      3. It really is. I hate how late everything is. Even Baby Girl’s gymnastics starts at 6:30. I think the late start times are probably because we live in a rural area and many parents have jobs that are an hour+ away.

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      4. Makes sense. Fortunately, during summer, it’s usually alright to be up late for that stuff. It’s not like they’re out running the streets. Ready for the eclipse? How near totality are you?

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      5. It’d be nice if they’d shift some of the spring sports a few weeks, that way it’d run into summer a little and be less late nights. I love how y’alls baseball season is in summer.

        For sure. I’m in 99.3% totality!

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      6. Everything but hockey is in the summer here. The only time it’s warm enough to be outside! I don’t like that soccer is in the summer. I’m used to it being in the fall and being able to play both. Not here, though. Booo. I’m jealous that you’re in the 99% zone! That’s awsome!!

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      7. It was pretty cool. But it was amazing what a difference .7% made. The pictures from the full eclipse vs. 99.3% made me wish we would’ve braved the traffic to get to the full totality zone!

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    1. I hear ya. My kid had probably an hour and a half of homework M-Th when he was in KINDERGARTEN. It hasn’t been that much since, but it’s still too much. They need time to decompress, play, and be with their families after being in school all day.

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  5. I’m an early person. I always end up sitting in the car for twenty minutes waiting to go wherever my final destination is. I don’t have kids, of course 🙂
    I’ve never heard of a squeezy bottle for jam before!

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  6. I feel the same way…no matter how early I get started, I am usually late. As a teacher, there are records at school for being “tardy,” but don’t worry about it. Just do the best you can do! There may be another award for you to win…LOL

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  7. We are usually running late so don’t feel bad. And it kills me. My whole mood can change if we’re running late. And picky eater… my child lives on chicken nuggets. Literally she won’t eat anything else. And sadly to her disappointed she was waitlisted for preschool… and all I keep hearing is Momma I gotta go to school!
    Our current craze is Disney princesses. So I’m not too bad off. Yet.

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    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one with picky kids. Little Man is that way about his lunches, but pretty good otherwise. Baby Girl only eats a handful of meals and usually has a quesadilla or grits for meals most of the time. Gah.

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  8. Last time we visited family, my husband and his brother (happily) played Pokemon with my nephews for HOURS. And then continued to talk about it. Pokemon cards are only slightly less popular with them than football cards (which filled half my 2-car garage before I made him get rid of them).

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      1. Oh they were probably worth something in sheer volume. He kept trying to sell the sets on eBay and no joy, so I ended up giving them away for free about ten minutes before we moved out of our house. Not even kidding.

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  9. Oh!! I am so surprised you can send PB&J sandwiches to school!! That would get confiscated here in Canada so fast and probably a note and/or phone call home. Schools are a nut free (and more often than not scent free) environment

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    1. I wonder if peanut allergies aren’t as prevalent in our area. None of the schools/preschools they’ve been to have had a ban. I hope that’d be the case anyway, and that they wouldn’t allow those foods in if it could make someone sick!

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      1. You are so lucky. We have this thing here called wow butter. It tastes just like peanut butter but there are no nuts in it so lots of parents use that instead. When I was in teacher’s college, the regular teacher I was observing was gone for the day and a supply teacher was there, she literally took a child’s sandwich from him and threw it in the garbage because she didn’t believe him it was wow butter and then told him that he shouldn’t even be bringing that to school because sometimes the smell can set off allergies

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  10. I just need normalcy! After the last few weeks of summer with camps/no camps/transitions, I can’t even tell you what day it is, much less what time. And I AM a time/punctual person. I’m driving myself crazy.
    LM would be screwed at my kids’ school. The whole damn thing is peanut-free due to allergies. I didn’t pack peanuts or peanut butter much, but that’s some pressure!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I hope your first full week goes well and has a 100% on time record!! I battle that every day, too. My 4yo has the glacial speed gene as well. I have to prompt her CONSTANTLY to look at what she’s doing and just do it. I hate that!
    PB&Js rock!!!! I won’t ever get sick of making them … because I get to lick the PB knife!! Is that sick? *PB-obsessed*
    So ,… what are you going to do with LG now that it’s just you guys again??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! May the odds be ever in our favor 😉

      It’s so difficult. I get that LM’s ADHD contributes greatly to his slowness and stuff, but it’s tough to have to stay on one kid constantly with so much other stuff going on.

      She’ll have a couple weeks until preschool starts. Hopefully we’ll get in a few art projects and the children’s museum before it starts for her.

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  12. I think our biggest school day struggle is the fact that one kid picks his food apart and barely eats, while his brother claims to still be starving after eating all of his breakfast. Eh. The need for eating is such an overrated human inefficiency. 😝

    Liked by 1 person

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