Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap Your Hands

When you have young kids, you tend to do things that would make the casual observer raise their eyebrows. Things like having toddler potties in non-bathroom areas, making transportation noises for a spoonful of food, and singing songs to encourage picking up toys, brushing teeth, or using the toilet.

And then there is the clapping. Good lord, the clapping.

There are many times when you genuinely want to clap for the stuff your kid does. Crawling for the first time; those first steps; not spitting out spinach baby food; catching a ball — those are all very deserving of clapping.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. Eventually some children — cough, mine — expect you to clap for everything. It’s hard not to share in their enthusiasm, but after they’ve done a certain mundane thing X number of times, you’re not feeling it quite as much.

And other times, they don’t want you to clap for milestone type things so much as they want you to clap for things that were never goals in the first place.

Sorry, Baby Girl — you were the gassiest baby I’ve ever met. You did “drunk frat boy after eating a greasy pizza” type farts when you were less than a month old. They horrified everyone, and I’m pretty sure there were a few times people thought we were letting one rip and blaming it on the baby. I’m used to your “fahts” by now, so you’re not getting any claps on this one.

Sometimes kids want claps just for literally nothing — not for making a hoop for the umpteenth time or for flatulence. They just want claps and they want them now, dammit.

Before I develop carpal tunnel syndrome from all the clapping, maybe I should just download an Instant Audience app for my iPhone. Not only would there be lots of claps at the press of a button, but there could also be cheers and maybe even rebel yells. Or, if I’m lucky, maybe there would be boos and jeers that would come in handy for other situations — like being a sassypants or smudging my freshly cleaned glass door. Lazy parenting for the win!

Instead of asking what silly thing your kid likes to be clapped for, what do you do that deserves being clapped for once in a while?

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Author: Erika

I’m a SAHM to two kids. When I’m not doing all the typical mom things (diapers, soccer, etc.), I like writing, reading, and playing games. Clearly I live the life of a rock star.

34 thoughts on “Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap Your Hands”

  1. I love these stories! Em doesn’t necessarily demand claps but she does demand recognition. I have never seen a kid get so upset when you don’t acknowledge the letter they correctly identified for the umpteenth time. Lol.

    And ah the fart announcements. Yes mine does that too. Usually when we’re surrounded by a bunch of people. And who knew baby girls could carry such rank farts!?

    Now on to what I’ve done to deserve multiple rounds of claps. I still get said toddler to take naps regularly. And 99% of the time I don’t fight her on rewinding a musical number in a movie 726680 times or listening to the same movie soundtrack 78023749905 times.

    But that applause apps sounds like the best parenting hack ever. I need it. For myself honestly. To applaud m when no one else does haha

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, you absolutely deserve claps for that nap thing. Wish mine would take them! Oh yeah, I should’ve mentioned when my daughter announced that she pooped to the restaurant on Sunday and looked around for her applause! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That is hilarious. I always say “we don’t need to tell everyone” when she does it now. These kids have no chill haha

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Mama’s tale of woe #2419: Why do I have to invite people over to hear how good my cooking is?!? My family takes me for granted SO HARD. There should have been applause at brunch yesterday! Until the visitors started going on and on about the yumminess, my family sat there like these things just appear on the table. Tsk.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! One of our unspoken rules growing up was to tell my grandmother how amazing her food was at the end of every meal. That, and tell her how nice her hair looked on Fridays after she got it styled for the weekend. (And if you didn’t tell her that her hair looked good, there was hell to pay for.)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My daughter, Chris, is 47 … or will be in October. And tonight, I clapped for her because she finally stood up to the bully at work! She is meek and non-confrontational, which she obviously did NOT get from me 😀 Anyway, point being … you never stop clapping for them, so just get some wrist braces to avoid the carpal tunnel! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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